3 Ashley & Jade
Photos by Suze Randall
6 Feedback
Your hate mail
7 Trouser Custard Corner
Naked Video
8 Vanessa
Photos by Chantel Thomas
14 News of the Screws
All the hard-core news
16 Angel
Photos by Geoff Howes
22 Eager Beaver
Porn slut Julia Ann
24 Melitta
Photos by Jack Harrison
31 Sylvia
Photos by Peter Flodqvist
37 Hanky Heaven
Top-notch porn reviews
38 Nicole & Tracey
Photos by Seymour Gash
44 McCoy's Massage Parlour Guide
36 Kirsty
Photos by Chantel Thomas
53 Andrea
Photos by Jack Harrison
58 Gagging For It
Absolute filth from you lot
64 Joanne
Photos by James Freeman
68 Tits 'n' Missus
Wives galore with their pants on the floor
92 Sabrina
Photos by Huey Louis
Editorial Note
Drunken Rant
Fucking government cunts. All they do is spoil the fun for everyone. Think about
it. We were the first 'civilised' natio we went around the world teaching all
these tinpot nations how to shit. God damn it, we probably taught most of them
how to fuck. Look at us now though. We can't legally buy decent hard-core porno
in this country and the magazines we produce are so strictly monitored that we
have to ask a fucking lawyer if it's all right to print the word 'cunt'. And,
as a result, our anally-retentive forefathers have spawned a nation, no, a race
of sexually repressed gimps. Whlc means that, when your averag single male goes
out on a can hunt, he can't get a sniff of it, because most of the upthemselves
girls won't even admit that they get moist. What's more, magazines like this are
frowned upon by the moral majority because they're supposed to encourage men to
go out and commit rape. When, in fact, comics like Teazer are more of a release.
You're not going to prevent rape by tightening access to adult material; far from
it, in fact crimes against women have very little to do with sex, as mots psychologists
now acknowledged and we had those centuries before wank mags became popular. Perhaps
Jack The Ripper was just working from some naughty lithographs? Maybe those raping,
pillaging Norsemen had copped an eyeful of some filthy parchments? Who knows people
in this country were are more easy-going, there would not be quite so many frustrated
men in the first place. And it's not lust that I'm bitter because no birds'll
do it with me. Oh no.
