EDITORIAL
THE SLEUTHSAYER
New girls often turn up with their mums," observes a leading lensrnan of
Britain's Page Three models. "You just don't know until you've got them in
front of the camera�and even then, you're not really sure. But it you find
someone who does WINK and follow through to getting it published, it's fantastic."
The same might be said of this fourth installment of a "Ars! Time phenomenon,
as we look back in hungerto the initial exposures of today's top celebrities...Before
They Were Stars! As ex-Rolling Stone spouse Jerry Hall harrumphed 6%years ago
(in V8 Nil when we first uncovered her nude poses that theretofore had been gathering
moss: "It's terrible! Once you start to get well-known, you find that ALL
THOSE NUDE PICTURES THAT YOU DID IN THE PAST start popping up in all types of
magazines."
Yet after all, Hall...to quote your ex's earliest hits, you'd be a Fool to Cry...this
won't be The Last Time you find yourself between a Rock and A Hard Race. So, Jerry,
As Tears Go By, remember that Sleuth always gets Satisfaction. You see, Time Is
On My Side.
Yes it is, as long as young models continue to echo the sentiments of aging actress
Adrienne (Maude) Barbeau, who filled out our very first "First Time Rig"
issue nicely: "My feelings about sexism took second place to furthering my
career," she said of her teen topless poses we exposed. 'The more visibility
you have, the better equipped you are to get someplace' And now we've arrived:
Our 112th issue BEGINS with a retrospective of our last edition, "Women of
Fanlasy�in the person of new Lara Croft, Angelina Jolie fp. 41�and
ENDS with a preview of our next one, "The Living End II"�in the
posterior of muscle maiden Maria Duncan (p. 941. In between, just has to be sm...
Thriving former Spice rack, Gen Halliwell (p. 161 is the epitome of a Survivor,
and while that CBS show continues to hog the spotlight, "Ginger" was
recently "spotted flashing her breasts at Robbie Williams at the latter's
private gig at the Equinox nightclub: Observers noted that her nipples are square-ish,
and resemble "pigs' snouts." Since she used to bring home the bacon
in early jobs as an aerobics instructor, washing hair in a barber shop, working
on a market stall�then had gigs as a cleaner, barmaid, cable TV presenter,
club dancer in Majorca, and game show hostess in Turkey�Halliwell harkens
back to her Wannabe days: "In 80 years time, none of this will matter (still,
Say You'll Be There, Jer...}. In certain ways," she concludes, "fame
and this whole thing makes you regress." Only here, we call it progress...
Background Checking,