FEATURES 106 WE WANT ANSWERS!
GABRIEL BYRNE
End of Days' villain rates Winona Ryder's kiss, tells us why? Schwarzenegger is
a wimp, and clues us in on the women Satan would most like to bear his evil progeny.
108 Lisa Marie
ASTROBABE
She sizzles in boyfriend Tim Burton's Sleepy Hollow, but in this photo spread,
Lisa Marie will really make you lose your head.
114 ACTS OF GOD
KILLER CANYON
Fifty-three hikers descended into a picturesque Swiss canyon. Nearly half met
a horrifically violent death. Get ready to hold your breath.
126 FISHNET GAIN
THE MAXIM LINGERIE SPECIAL
While saucy author ElizaBeth Wurtzel reveals women's lingerie fantasies, saucy
model Amber Smith reveals so much more.
140 BOSSES FROM HELL
YOU'RE TERMINATED! GET TO WORK!
To keep you down, bosses all use the same sneaky playbook. Now you can beat them
at their own game.
152 DEAR SANTA
ALL WE WANT FOR CHRISTMA;
What the world needs now is...karaoke bar fights, cheese bras, office hammocks,
and faucets that deliver beer. Is that really too much to ask?
158 MARCHING ORDERS
TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT!
Turn off those esdort ads on Channel 86 and get ready to go out, soldier. Do exactly
what we say and you won't come back alone.
170 COVER BABE Lara Flynn Boyle
If lusting after the hard-hitting prosecutor on The Practice were a crime, we'd
plead nolo contendere.
180 LAZINESS MADE EASY
TOTALLY NO-GRIEF GIFT GUIDE
'Tis the night before Christmas, and you haven't bought anyone lia single present.
No problem...dial these numbers. REGULARS
34 LETTERS
Keep on killin' those trees!
48 JOKES
Collect them. Trade them. Use them to avoid meaningful exchanges with other men.
50 CIRCUS MAXIMUS
Scraping the bedpan of the American soul, we discover Barbie's hairy sister, made-to-measure
pom, cities of toxic death, black booze, and a chain saw for joggers. Plus: Stephen
King vs. Burger King.
76 HOW TO
Make her think your garter snake is really a boa, talk Kurt Cobain types off ledges,
win a demolition derby, and survive a snowstorm in a way that would make Jack
London proud.
86 SAYS HER
20 REASONS WHY SHE'LL CHEAT ON YOU
According to the studies, you'll wear the horns at least once in your life. Here's
how to know'if her light socket's about to go multi-plug.
94 SPORTS
HOCKEY BALBOA
Some people call it violence when grown men beat the bejesus out of each other.
Bob Probed calls it art.
100 DR. MAXIM
IT'S PROBABLY NOTHING...
Is that a zit on your foreskin, or is gonorrhea just glad to see ya? Here's how
to tell the difference between ailments you can ignore and ones that'll lay you
in pine.
199 FASHION
ALL DECKED OUT
Clothes that rule the tables at Vegas, tennis shoes you loved while growing up,
and watches that make as much time as they keep.
225 GRINDER
Under the gun: easy chairs that'll make your girlfriend flee, and online gold
mines where you can sell the stuff she leaves behind. During the downtime, we
look at Jim Carrey's Kaufman portrayal, eat road kill with Beck, and play driving
games the Blues Brothers would love.
252 BEAT THIS CAPTION
Prove to us you're more twisted than we are and you shall be rewarded.
