FEATURES
102 WE WANT ANSWERS! - BERNIE MAC
Bernie Mac, star of—can this be right?—The Bernie Mac Show, is funnier
than a three-legged dog trying to water-ski...while avoiding a sniper.
104 COVER GIRL - HOT FOR TEACHER
Boston Public schoolmistress Jeri Ryan whacks us woth a ruler. Thanks you, ma'am
...may we have another?
114 TOO MUCH CAFFEINE - SHALLOW GRAVES
Some freak in Washington committed 49 murders in the early '80s and got away scotfree...until
now. See how the guy police say is the twisted pery finally got nabbed.
126 INES IN THE MORNING - A TALL ORDER
Six-foot Argentinian goddess Ines Rivero thinks you're really cute. C'mon, don't
be shy...at least come in and say hello.
134 BOAT-NANZA - WATER WORLD
Nothing gets a woman wetter than...falling overboard. We'll show you the best
boat for every wallet.
144 GIRLS GONE FERAL - FIELD GUIDE TO NORTH AMERICAN GIRLS
From rave babes to crunchy vegans all the way to lipstick lesbians, these garden-variety
girls will bug out your binocs. See ya inside.
156 SPECIAL SECTION - MAXIM'S ANTI-TERRORISM KIT!
Heroes are made, not born.The next time terrorism strikes, will you be ready to
roll? All the right moves, gear, and insights you'll need to survive.
164 SURF'S UP - LOVE JONES
Drop-dead professional surfer MAlia Jones will have you waxing your board in no
time.
170 GETTIN' HITCHED - MEET THE NEW BOSS
If you think weddings aren't really all that much fun now, just wait'll yours
comes up. Here's how to get through D-day in style. REGULARS
22 LETTERS
Dead men writing. One letter from beyond the crypt, one from a guy needing potty
training, another from a Gary Coleman porno fan. Keep 'em coming, sickos.
28 JOKES
Funny = money.To the tune of $150.
30 CIRCUS MAXIMUS ,
Under the big tent:The world's most famous animal graves, the meatiest Hiroki
test ever, and the lunch-reintroducingest roller coasters. Wheee!
40 HAVE YOU SEEN THIS GIRL? VIDEO DAME
The Latin hottie from All My Children, Alana De La Garza, has seen it all. Here's
a good, long, soapy look at her.
52 HOW TO
Shoot a sex scene, buy a bike, eat a 72 oz. steak, hypnotize yourself, grow hydroponically
(you pick the plant), and stage your own office coup. (Did we say that out loud?)
60 SAYS HER - 60 FOREPLAY SPEED TRIALS!
Die Hard's on in four minutes...but is it enough? It'll have to be. On her panties...get
set...go!
68 SPORTS - ARMED AND DANGEROUS
Being brutally honest is a lot easier when you have a 98 mph heater and the balls
to use it. Meet Curt Schilling, the 2001 World Series Yankee-killer.
76 VROOM1 VROOM! - GOING BACK TO CADDY
The 2003 Cadillac as is a 220 hp, fuel-injected road rager.The sheriff's daughter
will love the backseat.
80 WHAT'S UP, DOC? - ASK DR. MUM
Don't go to the ER. We'll cure your broken penis, sushi worms, and numb fingers.
84 HOT ZONE
We've got Roger Daltrey, Lara Croft, Scooby-Doo, and tons of Scooby snacks. Now,
who's your daddy?
179 FASHION EXCLUSIVE - DRAWN IN 60 SECONDS
Video game master criminals mug it up with the season's best fashion. Plus: Everything
you need for a cutting edge shave.
199 TOP GEAR
The baddest three-wheeled hog and the greatest summer sports gear this side of
some slightly greater summer sports gear piece.
212 BAR EXAM
Are you the dumbest link? Find out now.
