FEATURES 110 WE WANT ANSWERS!
WILL FERRELL
The self-described "suburban lame white person" is now a bona fide movie
star in Old School. There's hope for us all! Well, maybe not Corey Feldman.
112 COVER GIRL Brooke Burns
The smokin' hot host of NBC's reality gut-chet!! show Dog Eat Dog has plenty of
bark and even a little bite. Don't try scratching her stomach.
MONEY MATTERS
122 YOUR MONEY!
We found some great places to stash your stash. Besides the old standby: somebody
else's wallet.
130 CROWN JEWEL Sienna Miller
A New York cop finds this British beauty living in his newly rented apartment
on Fox TV's Keen Eddie. You'd keep her, too, wouldn't you?
138 FUNNY PAGES
COMIC RELIEF
Shouldn't something called "the funnies" actually be funny? We thought
so, too. Here's how we tried to fix the strips.
140 SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST
HELD HOSTAGE
Bad: Chechen rebels take 750 prisoners in a Moscow theater. Worse: Russian troops
botch the rescue raid. Hostage Vesselin Nedkov tells us how he survived.
150 ALL THAT JAZZ
MYA
The tastiest hottie from the "Lady Marmalade" video struts her stuff
in the sexy, sinful movie musical Chicago.
156 ALL ROADS LEAD TO SEX
She's feeling fat? Lost her pet? That doesn't mean you're doomed to a night with
Rosie Palm and her five sisters.
164 FOREIGN EXCHANGE
ELEONORA DI MIELE
This Italian bombshell doesn't speak a lick of English. So, quick: What's Italian
for mama Mia? REGULARS
38 READERS' LETTERS
Ben Franklin is credited with founding the U.S. Postal Service. And right now
we hate him for it.
44 JOKES
A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar.The bartender says,"What is this, a
joke?" Ba-dum-cha!
48 CIRCUS MAXIMUS
Girls gone berserk, and cuddly critters fight to the bloody death.
57 MODEL CITIZEN
CINTHIA MOURA
They say a picture's worth a thousand words. You'll be lucky if u can utter one
a peek at this Brazilian beauty.
68 HOW TO
Slaughter a cow and draw a girl. In that order!
76 ASK DR. MAXIM
Troubled by your toenails? Nonplussed by your nipples? The doctor will see you
now.
78 SPORTS
GARY'S PLAYLAND
March is mad, but Gary Williams, coach of defending NCAA champ Maryland, is running
the asylum.
84 INSTANT EXPERT
ANCIENT GOD GUIDE
Long before Jerry Springer and British royalty, the Greek gods inspired us to
kill, screw, and eat our kin.
88 THE MAXIM BAR
"DRINK ME, I'M IRISH!"
Not many people know this, but the Irish like to drink. Here are a few of their
favorite libations.
96 HOT ZONE
Thanks, but no thanks, Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. We'll give
out our own damn awards. And the losers are...
100 HAVE YOU SEEN THIS GIRL?
EMMANUELLE VAUGIER
She warms Lex Luthor's cold heart On the WB's Smallville. So she likes bad boys...and
defibrillator paddles.
201 TOP SPIN
What spins you right 'round, baby, right 'round? Our money's on a turntable, like
this vibration-dampening baby seen here.
202 TOP GEAR
Hot cameras! A cordless keyboard! A toy plane! Heavens to Betsy!
208 BAR EXAM
Senior editor James Heidenry believes Scott Baio will be taken seriously as an
actor one of these days.