FEATURES 102 WE WANT ANSWERS!
BEN STILLER
In a Barbara Walters–like watershed moment, the silver-screen Starsky says
he suffered childhood humiliation at the hands of Patty Duke—the big baby.
104 COVER GIRL Jessica Simpson
America's new favorite blonde talks about her TV shows, including her weekly pay-per-view
striptease hour. Er, that last one is more wishful thinking than, like, an actual
fact.
112 MAXIM GOES TO THE MOVIES PRESENTS...
ACTION!
It's Spidey vs. Catwoman vs. King Arthur, plus a picture of Jennifer Love Hewitt's
CGI pussy—cough, cough—cat. Bonus: all the Harry Potter buzz you've
been craving.
122 MANLY THINGS
CRAP YOU SHOULD KNOW
Ever learn how to dodge a bullet? Remove a leech? Waterproof your pants before
a big night out? Our ultimate study guide will help you look and sound just like
a functioning adult.
130 WAR OF THE WELLS
CRUDE POWER
Newsman Robert Bryce's new book, Cronies, connects the dots that link Texas, the
Bushes, oil, Iraq, and the unchecked influence that big business wields over America's
foreign policy.
136 AS SEEN ON TV
DRAMA QUEENS
They let cameras follow them to work, on dates, at play, and to catfights. Now
they're letting cameras show them looking hot.
146 SUPERCAR SHOOTOUT '04
ULTIMATE GETAWAYS
Indy driver Dario Franchitti pushes four all-new supercars to their performance
limits. Thank God we remembered to bring diapers—they don't come standard
on these babies. REGULARS
READERS' LETTERS
18 WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!
Maxim responds to angry accusations of April-issue sensationalism with a hearty
dose of"Fooled you!"
26 JOKES
THAT'S GOTTA HURT!
We finally take a cue from AFVand jump on the "cracked testicles are funny"
bandwagon. Sigh.
30 CIRCUS MAXIMUS
ATHLETES AND DRUGS
Is Balnetar an Atlanta Falcon or an eczema remedy? Find out on page 48. Plus,
scary clowns. Mommy!
54 HOW TO
BREAK UP A FIGHT
Then dump your gal and shoot the shit outta some fish, ASK DR. MAXIM
64 WART'S UP, DOC?
Revealed! The hidden dangers of burping your worm and why baseball games can give
you a heart attack.
68 SPORTS
BUFFALO WINGMEN
Our writer stalks bison Billy the Kid—style. So, an else got a hankering
for bloody entrails?
77 SAYS HER
BE HER BOY TOY
Snag yourself a hot, horny Mrs. Robinson.
82 HOT ZONE
MUSIC TO OUR EARS
See which concerts we'll be sneaking into through that hole in the gate this summer,
then giggle with the guys from Reno 911! and Broken Lizard.
159 MAXIM FASHION
ALTERED STATES
Like business casual but hate khakis? Learn how to take a single suit from boardroom
to bar and everywhere in between.
171 TOP GEAR
WE'VE GOT BALLS
Big, thermally bonded silver ones, plus six pages of the best electronic beepy
boopy stuff around.
184 BAR EXAM
TALK DIRTY
Learn the nerdy real names of rappers, then enter a raffle to touch executive
editor James Heidenry.
