FEATURES 132 WE WANT ANSWERS! MICHEAL VICK
The Falcons' fast-as-a-mofo QB discusses the hotties of Hotlanta, brother Marcus,
and being the next Bo Jackson. Why are you just standing around? Go deep!
134 COVER GIRL Milla Jovovich
The Fifth Element babe who seduced us wearing only surgical gauze puts on even
sexier outfits in her first Maxim shoot. Does she ever stop giving?!
144 FATALITIES KILL
DEATH AWAITS
What do the birds and the bees have in common? Like your bookie, they want you
dead. Learn your chances of violently croaking today in this six-page tragedy
extravaganza!
150 MIRCEA MONROE
FOR A GOOD TIME, CALL...
Sorry, Marilyn—we've got a new favorite curvy blonde movie star named Monroe.
And unlike you, she's still alive! Oh, and the best part? She's from Fiji and
thinks machetes are part of a proper place setting.
158 WAR GAMES
THE SWAT OLYMPICS
Ride along as special tactic units from police departments across the country
compete in badass contests. It's kinda like the regular Olympics, but with ammo
and testosterone. REGULARS
36 READERS' LETTERS
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
Our interns sit around all day and open your mail. Holla!
42 DIE LAUGHING
LAUGH, STUPID!
See what the late-night rabble have to say about Kerry.
46 CIRCUS MAXIMUS
THE DONALD'S BEST HIRE
Meet Trump's apprentice, and learn why Brits are insane.
70 INTERNATIONAL GIRL Jennifer Ellison
This English TV tart is headed for musicals. (And you know they're our favorite!)
But for some odd reason she thinks guys who ask for her underwear are creepy.
Repressed limeys!
76 INSTANT EXPERT
RIDIN' THE RAILS
Over that embarrassing pirate phase? Be a poseur hobo.
78 VROOM VROOM
TRAINING WHEELS
Get psyched to go into debt for your very first car!
84 TEN BEST!
AMERICA'S TOP 10 MEAT HOGS!
Nine thousand calories of sandwichy goodness.
90 SMACKDOWN '04
THE TIME REGIME
The real bosses of D.C.join forces to fight good.
96 LIVER LET DIE
MOONSHINE MANIA!
Our writer remembers going to Ohio's hillbillypalooza...
100 TROUBLESHOOTING
WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?
When life gives you lemons, whip out this handy crib sheet. It'll at least tell
you how to avoid poison ivy.
102 HOT ZONE
MARTIAL SMARTS
Jet Li and 18 billion things about the Star Wars DVDs.
189 TOP GEAR
GRAND THEFT AUDIO
Tons of porn and other plug-in-ables for music fans.
203 FASHION
STYLE-O-RAMA!
The season's best looks, the slickest suits as worn by the dirty doctors of Nip/Tuck,
and presidential makeovers we'd like to see.
232 BAR EXAM
STILL HERE!
James Heidenry's back, with half the carbs. SPECIAL NFL SECTION
168 NFL SMACKDOWN
GAME ON!
What would the NFL be without cheerleaders? A sausage party majora! Enjoy six
sweat-inducing pages of the hottest spirit-lifters ever.
170 NFL SMACKDOWN
GAME TIME!
Bold Eagles-based redictions, plus Maxim's first annual Hot Dog of the Year award.
(Hint:The winner was fined $70,000 in '03.)
174 NFL SMACKDOWN
2004 ALL-MAXIM TEAM
These fellas run like jet planes, power like tanks, and throw like rocket launchers.
We drafted them for our team.
