FEATURES 116 WE WANT ANSWERS! Snoop Dogg
Hip-hop's most old-school hyphenate raps at us about his new album, Oscar aspirations,
football predictions, life as a dad, and just what it is about the West Coast
that makes him such a Hollywood badass.
118 COVER GIRLS
THE APPRENTICE GIRLS
They're hot. They're smart. They're unsuited. And by the time you read this, a
bunch of them will have been fired. But unlike the trolls at the unemployment
office, the Donald's newest crop of applicants still deserve a raise for this
exclusive Maxim performance.
130 LOOSE CANNON
WHO THE HELL IS JACK IDEMA?
Maybe he's a nut job, maybe he's a hero, maybe he's a man on a mission, but this
former Green Beret is in a world of trouble. Recently busted by authorities while
hunting for Osama, he's now been convicted of illegal imprisonment and torture
and is about to do a dime in Afghanistan's notorious prison system.You decide
if he got justice.
142 TRAVEL
AMERICA'S 10 DARKEST ALLEYS
Up to 19 percent of hate crimes occur in alleys.That has nothing to do with this
article, except that it's about the kinds of alleys where we think those kinds
of things happen. Hint: They're in the United States.They're not well-lit.There
are 10 of them. Read on...if you dare.
144 AGONY OF VICTORY
THE TOLL
Steve Yzerman, Eddie George,Travis Pastrana: Once considered paragons of hUmma-porn-star">Uman
form, some of these guys can now barely walk. We check in on eight athletes to
explore what happens when a dream
career is followed by a lifetime of pain.
157 HOMETOWN HOTTIES
THE FINAL FIVE
Thousands of you guys chose these five girls as the winners of our annual contest.
Finally, you got something right. REGULARS
28 READERS' LETTERS
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
You do know that harassing us by mail is a felony, right?
36 THE FUNNIES
LAUGH, STUPID!
Got cancer? We've got the best medicine for ya (after chemo). And comedian Mitch
Fatel likes li'l boobs, FYI.
40 CIRCUS MAXIMUS
THAT TIME OF THE MONTH...
To turn the page on the calendar! Then peep a life-size toy fighter jet, a chain-mail
sock for your tummy banana, and some homoeroticism from—where else?—Germany.
56 INTERNATIONAL GIRL
JODI ALBERT
This English tart is famous in Blighty for her role on some show called Hollyoaks.
We're just glad she's part of the coalition.
69 HOW TO
DEAL WITH A BAD HEART
After we save your life, learn how to work the office Xmas party and pose for
the subsequent mug shot.
78 INSTANT EXPERT
SILENT BUT DEADLY
Maxim takes you on a tour inside the brandspanking-new, $3 billion USS Jimmy Carter,
the world's most high-tech—yet presUmma-porn-star">Umably pacifist—nuclear submarine.
80 SAYS HER
SECRETS OF A HOLLYWOOD HAREM
Babydol Gibson has provided XXX services to A-list Hollywood stars. Now she's
telling you how to be good in bed. Don't worry, the advice is a freebie.
86 SPORTS
GREAT BALLS AND FIRE
A professional daredevil discusses personal injury and the fine art of destroying
shit.
94 HOT ZONE
THE PASSION OF THE WHITE CHICKS
Fondly look back at what we learned from Hollywood this year ("San Diego"
means what?).
187 MAXIM FASHION
THE HOUR IS UPON US
Watch your life tick away on these timepieces.
208 BAR EXAM
ARE YOU AS DUMB AS YOU LOOK?
Come on down to the station, bub.We have questions.
