FEATURES 82 AND THE WINNER IS...
THE GREAT MAXIM ROAD TRIP
We asked you to hit the road and send in documentation. Now that we've gotten
over our initial shock, we honor some of the greatest treks since Harold and KUmma-porn-star">Umar
went to White Castle.
90 ROCK THE VOTE
HOMETOWN HOTTIES
Vote in the presidential election in 2004? Put that experience to practical use
and help select a new Hometown Hottie.
97 CREDIT DUE
SCREWED HEROES
We look at folks from soldiers to scientists to sports stars who sacrificed themselves
and in return for their troubles got jack. No, not like Hulk Hogan, you idiot.
102 SOCIAL SCIENCES
WHAT'S IN HER HEAD DURING SEX?
Because some of us do not have your amazing telepathic powers, Mr. I-Know-What-Women-Want
Mel Gibson.
104 ESCAPE ARTIST
THE RISE AND FALL OF THE ROOFTOP ROBBER
Jeffrey Allen Manchester deeply believed in God, country, and robbing fast-food
joints. Meet the nicest guy ever to take a good number of innocent people hostage.
110 COVER GIRLS
BOMBSHELLS!
In honor of our nation's birthday, patriotic Americans Kim, Carmen, and Kelly
explain why this land inspires them to support the military, protect the flag,
and make people get naked.
126 CORPORATE AMERICA
OFFICE POLITICS: THE GAME
You can work hard, stay out of trouble, and attain middle manager status...or
you can decide to be successful. Learn how to backstab just like a certified corporate
jagoff.
130 WE WANT ANSWERS! Michael CHIKLIS
He's a rock as The Shield's Detective Vic Mackey (and literally rock as the Thing
in Fantastic Four)... but were you aware he's also played Curly and John Belushi?
Read the confessions of a former fat funnyman. REGULARS
18 READERS' LETTERS
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
You put your semiliteracy to use. Good job!
24 THE FUNNIES
LAUGH, STUPID!
Comedian Michael Somerville explains why showering with a woman is not necessarily
the oh-so-sweet move it seems.
26 CIRCUS MAXIMUS
SHOW US YOUR BEDROOM
We see where a set of twins sleep and learn about a theme park that's as close
to heaven as you can get without dying.
44 HOW TO
TIP ANYONE
Learn how much grease to give everyone from strippers to the moving guys helping
your wife leave you the next day.
52 MARINE LIFE
FLOAT YOUR BOAT
Discover six vessels that will finally put an end to the dolphins' reign of terror.
58 CHATTER UP
MOUTH OF THE SOUTH SIDE
White Sox slugger Carl Everett explains how to be"fun crazy." By contrast,
Jeffrey Dahmer was "unpleasant crazy."
62 CELEBRITY ADVISER
JOHN C. McGINLEY
The Scrubs star threatens to punch you in the stomach.
66 HOT ZONE
HAVE YOU SEEN THIS GIRL? Donna Feldman dishes about guiding the stars at the Oscars, while Foo Fighter
Dave Grohl is back with two new albums, which is one more than the White Stripes
offer (Jack and Meg are so lazy!)
80 INSTANT EXPERT
JUICE ABUSE
Even the score with Athletes who are "talented."
133 TOP GEAR
BUST A HOOF
Discover the musical deer head guaranteed to make any home feel like a Chuck E.Cheese's.
Then join barbecue aficionado Hank Hill for tips on getting your grill on.
139 MAXIM STYLE
WAKEBOARD WEAR
After you catch some air, find the fragrance that will best conceal your deeply
unnerving B.O.
160 ASK US ANYTHING
WHAT'S THE BODY'S MOST LETHAL PRESSURE POINT?
In case you're wondering, the least lethal pressure point is the left nostril
(that sucker is just indestructible).
