FEATURES 88 QUOTE, UNQUOTE
GREG KINNEAR
He played a Siamese twin, so now he's awesome at three-legged races.
90 LINGERIE
SHOW & TELL
Women peel layers as if they were onions. Really sexy onions, that is.
98 DEMOLITION
THE WORLD'S BIGGEST BOOMS!
Artfully placed dynamite turns man's mightiest erections to rubble.
100 MORNING GLORY
JILLIAN BARBERIE
Fox's fox is the best thing to wake up to. Besides bacon.
106 BANDIT
THE GREAT ESCAPIST
Forrest Tucker penetrated cell walls as though his name were Osmosis.
114 BURLESQUE
GIRLS OF FORTY DEUCE
What got gramps hot? Hussies doing fan dances. Turns out he was right.
120 LOOT
TECHNOLOGY SPECIAL
These gadgets embarrass the past.
146 BREAKOUTS
THE BEST OF 2003
A list so excellent that Ken Huckaby smashing Derek Jeter didn't cut it.
154 COVER GIRL
KRISTAnna LOKEN
Terminator 3 introduced America to the most breathtaking body of the year. And
it wasn't Ahnuld's.
162 QUOTE, UNQUOTE
THE FORENSIC INVESTIGATOR
If you plan on murdering someone, take out this guy first. IN EVERY ISSUE
30 LETTERS
It's a contest explosion! Rings for lovers, cash for spoon-lickers and glory for
the multinippled.
36 REPORTER
The Eagles cheerleaders, fighting Santas, a manmade bald guy, dogs that do yoga
and Ice-T in a tub.
65 REVIEWS
Chatting with Space Ghost, bowling with Ludacris, shopping with Alice Cooper and
scaring kids with flicks.
165 FASHION
Retro football jerseys, elegant timepieces and clothes for when you want to play
rock star.
185 BIONIC
Titans running back Eddie George is bald and he does yoga. Is he the Dalai Lama
in disguise? ADDED VALUE
84 BAR ROOM JOKES
What do you give a man who has everything? A joke. That leaves you plenty of money
to go buy expensive presents for yourself.
192 TRUE STORIES
Tales of utter humiliation, including one about an old lady who finds a new way
to get K-Y jelly on her tonsils.
