FEATURES 74 QUOTE, UNQUOTE
WILLEM DAFOE
He would have stomped Tobey if the Goblin outfit wasn't so cumbersome.
76 RECOGNITION
SEX SCOUT
Earn rewards for boinking.
80 TOURISM
TRAVEL WARNING!
Places so dangerous and despicable Detroit didn't make the cut.
82 Christina Milian
BOOTY QUEEN
Pop's other royal heinie shakes it.
88 IRON
MISTER MUSCLE
Jay Cutler is only the world's second best strongman. Congrats, Chyna-porn-star">Chyna!
96 QUOTE, UNQUOTE
MARK BURNETT
Earned millions for The Donald and 15 minutes for naked Survivor guy.
98 BERCLIND ICEY
THE ICE WOMAN COMETH
Meet TV's sexiest bailiff since Bull.
106 SLUGGERS
STRUCK DOWN
The murderous descent of a family.
112 TWISTER
TORNADO ALERT!
When Mother Nature breaks wind, she leaves a mark.
114 COVER GIRL Anna Nicole Smith
A 60-pill bottle of TrimSpa can be yours for only $39.95.
122 QUOTE, UNQUOTE
SHIPWRECK HUNTER
When he goes down, he comes back up golden. IN EVERY ISSUE
14 LETTERS
A reader ruins her pants, a Wildboy gets slap-happy and a trio of hotties earn
FHM's stamp of approval.
20 REPORTER
Surf 'n' turf spectacular—with the largest wave and cow we've ever seen.
Plus, stained undies.
51 REVIEWS
School's out, but you can still learn the fundamentals of rock, mind tricks and
how to dodge balls.
125 FASHION
Get spiffy with tailored threads and comfy with polo shirts. Plus, check the time
like a rock star.
142 MACHINERY
Laptops to keep your fingers busy and a computer-powered vibrator to keep the
missus busy.
148 GASOLINE
Motorcycles to put hair on your sac. Plus, an Indy champ teaches us how to drive
like a maniacal Indy champ.
154 BIONIC
Walker, Texas Ranger has nothing on the brave souls who enter the Army's Ranger
School. ADDED VALUE
72 BAR ROOM JOKES
Without jokes, beer, a jukebox, a pool table or a Buck Hunter machine, the bar
room would simply be incomplete. Especially without those jokes.
160 TRUE STORIES
You have to feel for the poor chap whose friends hogtie and hang him in a tree.
Or you can laugh at him like the rest of us.
