FEATURES 126 WE WANT ANSWERS!
CONAN O'BRIEN
The late-night king connects the dots between his Masturbating Bear, huge prosthetic
penises, and David-hasselhoff-actor">David Hasselhoff. Actually, those go together pretty well...
129 BADA GIRL
Jamie-Lynn Sigler
As if you dirk n't remember from last season, Meadow Soprano is all grown up—and
now for one night only, she's all stripped down across eight glqrious pages. Now
we know why the Mob rules. And why Tony's so tense.
142 MERIT BADGES
MAXIM'S AMATEUR TRIAGE KIT
Wherever blood is spurting and bone shards protrude, Maxim will be there to help
you step up and be a hero.
150 DIRTY DEEDS
GREATEST SEX STORIES NEVER TOLD
Colleen Rush found the world's filthiest perverts and convinced 'em to tell their
stories. Required reading for girlfriends.
158 WEATHER, MAN
WRATH OF GOD
Tornadoes, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other trailer-park nightmares—amazing
photo evidence that the Lord your God is one moody son of a bitch.
166 BOOB TUBE
REMOTE PATROL
Will this year's fall TV lineup beat last year's dismal offering? Judge for yourself
with Maxim's exclusive preview. Plus: Six new screen goddesses sneak into your
living room.
182 YOU BETCHA
WHAT ARE THE ODDS?
The world's largest online casino puts odds on 81 of our twisted predictions.
Is Danny Bonaduce slapping another hooker right now? The smart money says yes!
188 OILY RISERS
BLOOD BROTHERS
You thought Saddam Hussein was evil? Compared with his two psychotic sons, he's
a cheery cookie clown making balloon animals for kids.
200 LATIN STUDIES
COLOMBIAN GOLD Sofia Vergara, the criminally sexy star of the new crime caper Big Trouble, is
here! REGULARS
34 LETTERS
You're all a bunch of filthy animals. A Carson Daly enema? Alternative uses for
a Jack Daniel's bottle? Keep 'em coming.
42 JOKES
Bust our gut; take home a $150 bill.
46 CIRCUS MAXIMUS
Biblical plagues, the lamest theme parks, bogus airplane disorders, and the Tic
Tac Nec Crac. Plus:"No Nuts" Hiroki chokes down cookies.
GOD BLESS AMERICA
PIE GIRL
Denise Faye, the white-hot Temptress in this month's blockbuster American Pie
2, has some seriously sexy shoes to fill. Check out our exclusive sneak preview
and you'll see she's more than up to the task. Can you say, "Pass the pie?"
76 HOW TO
Survive torture, throw a lasso, seduce her friends, save a Browner, resuscitate
lefTovers, and hypnotize the elderly."On your knees, Grandma!".
84 SAYS HER
HER SECRET CHECKLIST
Why did she blow you off? Because you failed a test you didn't know you were taking.
Leslie Yazel forks over the checklist that'll open any girl's velvet ropes.
90 TURNING POINT
HARD TIMES
Relive one man's horrifying tale of a freak drug interaction with herbal Viagra
and a five-day erection that finally had to be chopped down with...with...
96 WHAT'S UP DOC?
ASK DR. MAXIM
The truth behind chiropractors, docs vs. ganja, choking your chicken, and, uh,toweling
off.
98 SPORTS
FULL-CONTACT SMACKDOWN
Gigantic quarterback Daunte Culpepper and megagigantic D-tackle Darrell Russell
go head-to-head. Let the beating begin.
108 HOT ZONE
Godfather of punk Iggy Pop, American Pie 2's Seann William Scott, Ben Folds, Björk,
Butthole Surfers, and more. Are you not entertained?
209 FASHION
MAXIM-WEAR
38-page special! We deck out Dark Angel star Michael Weatherly, bring the hottest
duds to chilly Iceland, and teach your wardrobe some collegiate style.
253 TOP GEAR
We put power drills through the wringer, pit MapQuest against strangers, and create
the most tricked-out NFL TV room since the Madden Cruiser.
272 BAR EXAM
Are you as dumb as you look? Er, don't answer that.
