FEATURES 94 WE WANT ANSWERS!
JIMMY KIMMEL
Young James Kimmel was a lad just like you: a buffet-abusing college dropout who
made it big on the boob tube with busty girls jumping on trampolines. Unlike you,
when he wakes up, it's all still there in front of him. Meet the man behind Jimmy
Kimmel Live. Duh.
97 BIKINI BOTTOM
SWIMSUIT SPECIAL!
We gathered seven supermodels, took away most of their clothes, and brought them
to a millionaire's palace on the island of Mustique.We also brought cameras. Then
our boss went and made us put the pits in the magazine.
144 SEE AMERICA WORST
THE UGLY AMERICAN HANDBOOK
The secretary of state would like to remind you that every time you travel abroad,
it's another opportunity to represent your country.You'r not just a tourist; you're
a goodwill ambassador for us folks back home. Here's how to screw it LID every
time
148 HANDY CAM
MOVIE SECRETS
Can you spot the midgets in Casablanca? The Nazi propaganda mirrored in Star Wars?
What would Quentin Tarantino smoke if he had 'em? (Am don't you wish he would,
just so he'd stop talking for a bit?) Take your seats...the mind-melting revelations
are about to begin.
154 ERECTILE FUNCTIONS
WONDERS OF THE MODERN WORLD
They dug a big hole under Boston.They built the world's tallest towers in Kuala
Lumpur. They paved paradise and put up a parking lot. Here's how the engineers
pulled it all off. REGULARS
20 LETTERS
In our bulging sack this month: invitations to two high school graduations,a crime-stopping
DJ, and a thumbs-up from a happy hombre!
26 JOKES
Q: How can you spot a comic with low self-esteem? A: He's onstage. See details
inside...
30 CIRCUS MAXIMUS
Dem bones, dem bones, dem museum collection bones. Plus: the Oscar bingo game!
48 HOW TO
Be funny, ride a bull, sink a rebound, build your own aquarium, and get into heaven.
In one day!
59 SAYS HER
IF THESE SHEETS COULD TALK!
A dozen women reveal the best sex they've ever had: the mood, the moves, the"More!
More! More!"Yow!
66 WHAT IT'S LIKE
JUST A GIGOLO
It ain't easy being a male"escort."You have sex with hundreds of women,
you get paid tons of dough for it...Hey, wait!
74 TWO-FISTING
LET'S GET PHYSICAL
Beating people up is more than just a day's work. If you do it right, it can be
an awesome fitness regimen. Knuckle up.
80 HOT ZONE
Ben Affleck calls it like he sees it as the blind superhero Daredevil. So the
good news is, you're a superhero and you get to boink Jennifer Garner.The bad
news? You're blind! You might as well go home A with your Aunt Trudy.'Cause, you
know, she'll throw a Bundt cake into the bargain.
84 WHEELIE SEXY Nadine Velazquez
She got her ass tattooed in Dream Works' Biker Boyz, she s inspired by an '80s
sitcom icon, and she's been artfully separated from the rest of her luggage.
165 MAXIM-WEAR
One Maxim is worth four packs of smokes in the joint. So what did the cast of
Oz have to pay for these awesome duds? We don't care to speculate.
179 TOP GEAR
What you need, citizen, is a tiny electric scooter in macho neon pink. Plus: the
hottest (no, really!) cold-weather necessities and your own portable hip-hop machine.
186 BAR EXAM
Senior editor James Heidenry is trying something different with his hair,"just
for fun!"
