EDITORIAL NOTE
With all the staff either on holiday, sacked or resigned, I've had to do this
issue myself, with no help from grown-ups at all. And, you know, I'd forgotten
how much fun it could be.
For those of you who normally skip Tease! and go straight to the dirty bits, I
should explain that my usual working day goes like this:
10.30am. Wake up. Drink lots of water with aspirin.
11.30am: Go to the office.
12 noon: Study 500 photos of naked Mouthwateringly Attractive Girl.
12.30pm: Go out to lunch With Mouthwateringly Attractive Girl, this time wearing
jeans cut off at the buttock and a sweater with no bra. She wears a suit, though.
4pm: Return from lunch for my afternoon nap.
5pm: Look at pages produced by The Only People Around Here Who Do Any Work. Agree
they look good and send them to the printers.
5.02pm: Go out to pub for Very Important Meeting with two old mates.
11 pm: Stagger to club for date with Mouthwateringly Attractive Girl.
11.02pm: Pass out, am shovelled into taxi which takes me back to girlfriend, who
leaves me on the hall floor. Sleep peacefully.
This month, though, I've had a break from my usual schedule. Instead I've had
to pick pictures, design pages, deal with printers, choose the cover, liase with
the advertising department and make the tea. It's been very relaxing to get away
from the daily grind, I must say.
Only trouble is, today the staff came back and pointed out that everything I'd
done was crap. "Stick to what you're good at, Steve. Go and get drunk,"
they said before they rewrote and redesigned the whole issue in two days.
They cut out my feature on why Spurs are a sure bet for the title this season,
dropped my ace new series 'Pool tables I have known', and killed the pull-out
poster featuring shots of popular TV astronomers. Instead they put in lots of
women poking their bottoms at the camera. No imagination, some people.
Ah well, back to the grind. Another Mouthwateringly Attractive Girl is at the
door, wearing sheer stockings and holding an automatic nipple tweaker. See you
at the A.A. meeting... — The Editor
