EDITORIAL
THE SLEUTHSAYER
It's been said that the three biggest lies told in Hollywood are, "The check
is in the mail;" "It's not smoggy where we live;" and the Oscar-loser's
lip service: "The real honor is in being nominated?' In truth, as we well
know, the real honor is being included in CELEBRITY SLEUTH.
§uch is the lure of Oscar gold that a restaurant in Sausalito, California
bears a year-round sign that reads, "Closed the Following Nights: Christmas,
Easter, Fourth of July, Halloween, and Academy Award Night." But as our loyal
customers will attest, when it comes to serving up the tastiest morsels to whet
any appetite, SLEUTH is always open for business...
This month's menu promises a smorgasbord of treats, an altogether scrumptious
buff-et, as it were. For while our first issue of "The Anatomy Awards"
offered an appetizer of 28 Oscar tidbits, we've prepared 39 mouth-watering winners
and nominees for this second course. Linger as long as you like over these entrées—there's
no statue of limitations.
If you're interested in variety, we truly cover the FIELD {Sally}. There's not
a reader's fondest wish that we can't GRANT {Lee}. If, for instance, you need
some twining up after these chilly WINTERS, we've got the pictorial poetry of
Shelley; or, if you simply prefer to REED, why not turn to Donna? There are literally
MILES and MILES of Anatomy Mardees {specifically, Sarah and Sylvia}! So no matter
what your line of work, be it BAKER {Carroll}, MASON {Marsha}, KERR/PARKER {Deborah/Eleanor},
or perhaps you WELD for a living {only on Tuesday}, we can HACKETT {Joan}. And
just when you think there can't possibly be another Oscar-caliber actress to be
found in our files, we'll show you one MOORE {Terry}. Then, only when you've had
enough, will we finally fade to BLACK { Karen}.
As the book Oscar Dearest concluded: "Television is too familiar, and theater
too exotic, for the stars of either to capture the imagination of the majority
rite pot*. But movie stars, iluminated larger than life in the dark, are still
glamorous, still vaguely ethereal. That image is one that moviegoers everywhere
want to hang on lo." Pad now you can ..
Hold tight, and enjoy the ride!
