THE LINE OF SUCCESSION ... MONARCHS OF MONACO 4 Princess Grace 8 Princess Caroline 14 Princess Stephanie RE•CURRENT AFFAIRS 20 Giannina Facio 22 Isabella Ferrari 24 Princess Sophie von Hapsburg 26 Mette Poulsen PRINCE AL'S GALS 28 Monaco Menagerie 30 Patrizia Pellegrino 32 Princess Catherine Oxenberg 34 Bea Fiedler 38 Teri Weigel THE MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR 40 Queen ElizaBeth II 42 Princess Margaret 46 Princess Anne 48 Diana, The Princess of Wales 54 Sarah, The Duchess of York RANDY ANDY'S DANDIES 58 Koo Stark 62 Ruth Burnett 64 Katie Rabbet 66 Clare Park 68 Vicki Hodge PUT YOUR DUKES UP! 70 The Duchess of Windsor 72 The Duchess of Kent 74 Lady Helen Windsor LONG MAY THEY RHINE 76 Princess Michael of Kent 78 Princess Gloria von Thurn und Taxis LADIES OF SPAIN 80 Princess Ira von Furstenberg 84 Princess Jackie de Hohenlohe 86 The Duchess de Feria 88 Baroness Carmen von Thyssen 92 Baroness Francesca Thyssen 94 The Marquesa de Cubas 98 Back Issues Available 99 Special Offers
EDITORIAL
THE SLEUTHSAYER
"The royal family is a symbol, like a national flag or anthem," opined
the New York Times, "and as such it must stand for the national interest;
it must provide a common denominator." And what more common denominator is
there than the nobility of nudity?
"ASS one of the cast members of Dynasty, "gushed real-life Princess
Catherine Oxenberg {p. 32}, "I'm part of a sort of institution that is the
closest America gets to royalty. The irony of that," she giggled, "is
that I swore I would never get involved in just such a situation. "And so
did your fellow bluebloods whose royal revelations fulfill the line of succession
above!
In deference to my loyal subjects, your sovereign Sleuth has trained his regal
eye for the first time on those monarch butterflies who've spread their wings
and throne caution to the wand. And the pickings were hardly baron, since it scarcely
appears uncommon for these ermine-clad eyefuls to disrobe. Consequently, our inaugural
Royalty issue has a little bit of everything: Sisters {Princesses Caroline &
Stephanie; Queen ElizaBeth & Princess Margaret}, Sisters in Law {Di, Fergie,
& Anne; Princess Michael & the Duchess of Kent}, Mothers and Daughters
{Princess Grace & her pretty pair; The Duchess of Kent & Lady Helen "Melons";
Catherine Oxenberg & her mom Princess ElizaBeth}, and even Stepmothers {wickedly
wild Baroness von Thyssen & her stunning stepdaughter Francesca}.
As an ardent observer of the nubility of nobility notes: "One must admit
that the women of Britain's royal family are remarkably well-endowed in their
bosoms, each in her own way. There's Queen ElizaBeth II {p. 40}, whose regal breasts
are never shown off to full advantage. Her sister Princess Margaret fp. 421 is
petite, yet anything but small in the bust. And Princess Anne {p. 46} is tall
and graceful and beautifully proportioned. Some time ago in Africa," the
monarch maven concludes, "women were chosen to reign over important ceremonies
because of the appealing shape of their breasts. Could it be that the House of
Windsor used a similar process of selection?" No...but we did!
Since royalteaser Catherine Oxenberg had the first word above, let her also have
the last: "I was brought up to keep everything in perspective; not get swept
up in false images. However, I certainly did grow up as part of something rather
unusual and spectacular."
That's precisely how we hope you'll view this issue fit for a King...since we
only exist "By Your Grace."
Your 0-Beady-Eyed Servant,
