EDITORIAL
THE SLEUTHSAYER
"You can separate the men from the boys," a prominent sociologist surmised,
"by studying voyeurs to see what they are studying as the girls go by. Check
the eyes. Boys are predominatly breast fanciers, of course. The bigger the boobs
that bounce past them, the more the youths rise to the occasion. More mature men,
of course, have long learned that while the breast has its place among the beauties
of the universe, the derriere is indeed one of the choicest parts of the female
anatomy." And it's the part we choose to CELEBRATE in this landmark "Living
End" study.
"Who are the girls who like to run around bare-assed?," an end-quiring
mind wanted to know in a recent report. "And they are so proud of their dorsal
nakedness they want no covering or camouflage of any kind. And who's complaining!
We're not. Well, one of the prime moon movers is Elke Sommer" !Posterior
Pick #34 inside!. "What is sexy anyway?," Elke asks. "I think it's
the hands and the eyes. Other people like... other things."
As one cheeky connoisseur butts in: "It's the last part you see of a woman
when she leaves the room. It forms your memories and influences your desires.
We are speaking of the ass, of course." And as a feminist follower of fashion
cracked, "Men, perhaps subconsciously, frequently pay tribute to the ass
during man-to-man dialog: 'Have you had any ass lately?' or 'John gets more ass
than a toilet seat' for example. Of course, our legs and breasts come in for their
share of praise, but no man ever says to another, 'I need a good piece of leg,'
or 'Let's go out and find some tit.' Ass has become synonymous with sex."
"Puffing one's way to a more shapely butt is the new hip thing to do,"
the chic women's magazine Allure announced in 1995. "Millions of us are firming
flaccid fAnnies with such exercise videos as Buns of Steel" The glute guru
who created the series, Tamilee Webb explains: "I grew up with a complex
about my butt, and even though now it's making me a living, I still see it as
a big of butt. Perfection," she concludes, "is just taking whatever
you have and making sure that it's conditioned and shaped. In the end, that's
what matters."
Which is why, for once, we're proud to be bringing up the rear.
Bottoms Up!