EDITORIAL
THE SLEUTHSAYER
"It is as beautiful as a breast" the French philosopher Gaston Bachelard
wrote centuries ago in describing a swirling cloud. And just last year, Vogue
magazine con-firmed the celestial sighting: "Why beat around the bush?,"
its aptly titled Upfront column began. "Breasts are beautiful. They are not
only beautiful, they are first The first beautiful things that we encounter. Therefore,
if something is beautiful, it is as beautiful as a breast."
And speaking of first, Sleuth breaks new round with this pioneering peak at "Treasured
Chests"�a countup of the 50 BEST SETS OF CELEBRITY
BREASTS around the globes. As you know, they come in pairs, so these 100 pages
{with no ads} uncover the 100 optimal orbs {with no augmentation}.
Which naturally brings up the matter of...taste: Any subjective ranking of anatomical
assets is, of corps, subject to second guessing {doubly so when it concerns "things"
so near and dear to the heart}. So we know we'll have our knockers, but let me
briefly point outthe criteria we set.: 1) It's not just size, but overall shape
and symmetrythat determines bust beauty; 2) Since quality not quantity is key,
only those with 100% NATURAL attribeauts knead apply {as far as we can determine,
without a squeeze test, there are no silly-cones implanted in our selections};
and 3) We are ranking the "50 Best" TODAY...notthe headlight highlights
of all time�figuring that if we had to take into account WHEN each woman's
chest was at its best�we'd wind up looking BACK instead of FRONT.
So we've coupled the PRIME at this TIME...and "they" couldn't be more
timely in view of these recent developments: the 1997 publication of the book
A History of the Breast by social scholar Marilyn Yalom; followed by the Jan.
27th Cinemax cable special Breasts: 22 Women on 41 Breasts; Fashion TV's A Documentary
on Breasts which aired March 27th; and an award-winning German short film entitled
The Most Beautiful Breasts in the World. Why, even the celebrated sheep just cloned
in Scotland was named "Dolly" because its DNA was taken from another's
mammary gland cell and, reasoned researcher Ian Wilmut: "No one could think
of a more impressive set of mammary glands than Dolly Parton" {much ado about
mutton, if ewe ask us}.
ProUd to be the first to quench this thirst, we're reminded of a top-ical saying
credited to Hollywood producer Tony {The Sting) Bill, "Martinis are like
breasts: One is never enough, and three is too much."
Taking 'em from the TOP,