Hollywood's TOP Secret TAPES! 06 A ABDUL, Paula—AVEDON, Luciana 09 B BACALL, Lauren—BUTLER, Brett 17 C CADELL, Ava—CURTIS, Jamie Lee 22 D D'ERRICO, Donna—DUTCH, Debbie 26 E EDEN, Barbara—EVERTS, Kellie 29 F FABIAN, Ava—FUNICELLO, Annette 30 G GABEL, Scilla-6UEST, Joanne 34 H HACK, Shelley—HYER, Martha 41 1 IMAN—IRWIN, Elaine 41 J JACKSON, Janet—JUDD, Ashley 42 K KANE, Carol—KUDROVV, Lisa 45 L LA RUE, Florence—LYON, Lisa 53 M MAC DONALD, Jeanette—MYLES, Meg 63 N NATIVIDAD, Kitten—NYGREN, Mia 64 O O'BRIEN, Margaret—OXENBERG, Catherine 64 P PAGE, Bettie—PURL, Linda 71 Q QUEEN ELIZABeth—QUIVERS, Robin 71 R RAINES, Cristina—RYDER,Winona 75 S SABATINI, Gaby—SUZUKI, Cuty 84 T TATE, Sharon—TYLER, Liv 88 ? VACCARO, Brenda—VOORHIS, Eva 91 W WAGGIN, Patti—VVY ,NFTTE,Tammy 95 Y YAMAGUCHI, Kristi—YOUNG, Sean 96 Z ZADORA, Pia—ZUNIGA, Daphne
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EDITORIAL
THE SLEUTHSAYER
32B or not 32B? That is the question. And the answer is CELEBRITY SLEUTH's definitive
dossier of documented dimensions, "Star•tistics."
"Call us indiscreet, call us sexist, call us whatever you like," Premiere
magazine admitted in July 1989, "the fact is, you want to know, don't you?
Well, we did. The minute we heard that Christie's auction house was going to sell
the fittings book kept by Adrian, MGM studios' chief costume designer from 1931
to 1942, we just had to take a peek at the measurements of some of Hollywood's
Golden Girls {a// of Adrian's assessments are contained herein}. What we're wondering
is," Premiere posed, "will we have to wait another50 years to get comparable
statistics on today's top stars?" You won't have to waitanother minute...
"Today," noted Bold magazine in 1960, "a movie gal's vital statistics
are not her age, height and weight; they are arrived at with a tape measure."
But ever since being P.C. took precedence over being A, B or C, "Modern beauties
guard their bust sizes jealousy." We've managed to let their guard down...and
let the figures out.
"We live in a tit culture," Bette {36C-25-36} Davis denigrated our interest
in the numbers game, while comedian Terry-Thomas observed: "I say, you Americans
are positively obsessed with mammaries!" But perhaps his fellow Brit, actor
Richard E. Grant, put it best: "My ideal woman has a bust, waist and hips.
She doesn't have to have legs, but it is wonderful if she does." It's not
by coincidence that the inventor of the brassiere was Otto Titzling and, until
recently, the President of Jantzen's sexy swimwear was named Jay R. Titsworth.
Or that a major cigarette company boosted sales by boasting: "It's what's
up front that counts."
During World War II, 20th-Century Fox president Darryl F Zanuck overheard his
publicity director Mike Romanoff, the restaurateur, complaining that "all
the fan-mail letters I see are from people who want to know the anatomical dimensions
of our players. I tend to ignore these ignorant missives." Zanuck fired him
"for pomposity," but not before reminding Romanoff: "Mike, what
those people want to know is how big are Betty Grable's tits, and the moment they
stop asking and we stop telling them, we're out of business." In case you're
asking, they measured 34X.
When Movieline ran an April 1997 feature called "They Might Be Giants"
detailing the height of actresses, an angry reader remarked: "Come on! Who
cares how tall these chicks are? But since you delved into such matters, why stop
there? Why not bust, waist and hip sizes? How long are their legs? What's the
distance between their pierced belly buttons and their pierced nipples? Hey, shouldn't
we be worried instead if they can act?" They'll be plenty of time for that;
for now, to echo Mae West's farewell to a parting paramour: "Thanks, I enjoyed
every inch of it."
Getting It All on Tape,
