EDITORIAL
THE SLEUTHSAYER
"The Matrix serves all our traditional desires in cinema," declares
the director of the avant-garde hit Run Lola Run, "but it plays with your
mind in a very strange way {play begins if you don't mindturning the page}. Ten
years ago, I don't think people would have even been ready for it." Now in
its eleventh year, our earth-shattering "Women of Fantasy" series is
again ready for blast off...
"Naturally," Entertainment Weekly notes, "the birth of every new
world renders another one musty" {no Skin off our back, eh?}. We endeavor
to make each new issue of SLEUTH betterthan the last, just as, one sci-fi expert
enthused: "Every episode of every version of Star Trek is based on the belief
that the future will be a better, livelier and more interesting place than the
present." Entering a new Millennium, we thus present our latest stellar discoveries.
The big news since we last boldly went was, of course, the return of Star Wars—an
event that prompted the Rev. Billy Graham to exult: "I'm glad that the Star
Wars series is bringing up some spiritual issues (rather than} the sexthat is
being used for a whole host of reasons for which it was never intended. And the
result of all this unrestrained sex," Graham warned at the dawn of 2000,
"has too often been broken hearts, broken lives and broken families."
Hey, if it ain't broke...
"Several hardcore Star Wars fans," Conan O'Brien quipped when The Phantom
Menace premiered, "who had tickets for the first showing (behold the first
showing of its female lead on p. 12), actually said that when the movie finally
began, they started crying. Mainly because they realized it's 22 years later and
they still haven't losttheir virginity." After thirty two years, Diff'rent
Strokes star Gary Coleman has actually admitted that he's still a virgin. So we
guess his strokes must have been all the same.
Hardly our problem, so we leave you by singling out perhaps the most different
genre film in "The Year That Changed Movies" (as EW dubbed these past
12 months}. It was, not surprisingly, distributed by Troma Films, and entitled
Killer Condom—the Mystery of a murderous prophylactic that our hero must
(sorry) unravel. Its tag line was "A Rubber That Rubs You Out!"...Please
remember that it was I who tipped you off.
Making It So,