3 LOOKING IN 7 NOTES & BOLTS 15 SEX RATED 19 MOVIES 23 MUSIC 26 INTERVIEW: Mel BROOKS
by Allan Jaffee
Hollywood's crazy movie-making genius
30 SHE'LL BE COMIN' 'ROUND THE MOUNTAIN WHEN SHE COMES
Article by Jason Cummings
Orgasms are never the same
35 MINDY
Pictorial
She looks after her body
44 THE MIRACLE
Article by M. Costales
Purity is in the eye of the beholder
47 GWENDOLYN
Pictorial
Her ass is her greatest asset
56 ELITE PREDICTS
by Swami Crad Kilodney
58 ROLLERBALLERS
Pictorial by Quark
66 THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT
Article by Paul Brock
Sin is in
83 DEBBIE
Pictorial
She's her own woman
93 THE GREAT CANADIAN BEAVER HUNT
A visit to the bedrooms of the nation
LOOKING IN
The ability to laugh at oneself is usually the stamp of a great man. Mel Brooks,
the crazy genius who produced and starred in such movies as Blazing Saddles and
Silent Movie, would therefore fall into that category. In a most interesting interview
conducted by Allen Jaffee, who is fast becoming a regular contributor to Elite,
Brooks discusses his childhood, his success and the future . . . wherever it may
be.
Next on the line up is an article by Professor Jason Cummings. With a certain
touch of irony he titled it She'll be comin' round the mountain . . and it deals
with the different types of orgasms that are experienced by women. According to
the honorable professor, he has been the instigator of many a climax and can tell
the difference between a hit or a miss. However, if we are to believe him, he
can now be found in a bottle in some obscure museum, safely tucked away for posterity.
The occult is a subject that seems to be extremely popular and Paul Brock, who
lives in Vancouver, British Columbia and is regarded as one of North America's
most prolific writers, has penned the article The Devil Made Me Do It. He discusses
a recent phenomenon: women actually stating that they have had sex with Satan
and describing their couplings with great detail. It will make you wonder if Mr.
D. really exists. If he does, he has to be the greatest stud in our world or the
other.
If you do believe in miracles, we have precisely that for you . . . a story by
M. Costales titled The Miracle. It's a fiction piece that should raise a chuckle
because it exposes the hypocrisy that can be found in men who profess to be pure
of heart.
And while we are on the subject of laughter, we hope you will appreciate a new
section we are introducing called The Elite Crystal Ball. Crad Kilodney (that
name has to be fictitious!) is the culprit who conceived and wrote this bit of
nonsense and to test it we showed it to our
bank manager. Even he managed to smile, so we guess it must have passed the test.
Enjoy it and if you have any predictions for the future months ahead, please send
them in. We need the communication.
Housewife Hookers, the continuing saga of a suburban matron, appears again to
stimulate your imagination. According to T.R. Kovach, who edited the series, these
are true-to-life happenings and possibly could be occurring in your neighborhood.
If so, it makes you wonder why the average family is so much in debt! But that's
another story, we suppose.
That's it for the editorial part of our magazine, but we have plenty left in the
way of pictorials.
In this issue we proudly introduce three delectable damsels who answer to the
name of Debbi, Gwendolyn and Mindy. The three are as different in looks and outlooks
as day is different to night. But they have one thing in common . . . and it's
not what you think! We suggest you view their charms and read what they say about
themselves before you cum to any conclusions.
Another pictorial section is aptly called Rollerballers and for those of you who
have never seen sex on wheels, you could be turned on to what you might be missing.
Last, but certainly not least, The Great Canadian Beaver Hunt does it all for
you. The success of this section is such that very shortly we shall have to pick
a winner. After viewing all those lovely ladies who live down the lane, it could
be a hard decision to find a winner. (Hard decision — great pun!)
And that's it for this issue. We do hope you will enjoy our offerings and faithfully
buy the magazine next month — we need the money!
Remember to take your penicillin ... it cuts down on doctor's bills!
