7 NOTES & BOLTS 11 SEX RATED 15 FIRST CLASS:
Letters
17 FANTASY TAPE
20 Jack Nicholson
Interview by Margo Landu
Sex, drugs and anger
23 MO
Pictorial
She'll have you calling for "Mo"
31 SHAMELESS TALES
35 MUSIC
40 FOODS THAT KILL SEX
Impotence-Anding Edibles
Article by Harry R. Jewell
43 THE GREAT CANADIAN BEAVER HUNT
48 JANET
Sucker for Satin
54 A LETTER TO AUNT MARGARET
Granny gets a Dick Fiction by Daniel Hollywood
57 FREYA
Pictorial
A Viking Vamp
63 HOUSEWIFE HOOKERS
71 THE STORY OF 2 LADIES
Pictorial
88 RATE YOUR SEXUAL IQ
91 THE NEED TO LOVE
Pictorial
Andrea and Sean getting it on
PUBLISHER'S PAGE
MALE MENOPAUSE
I am mad! Not angry, irate, ticked off or bugged. Mail! The Great Canadian Government
rides again and this time it's riding all over me!
Listen, some of you out there like this magazine, like it enough to want to subscribe,
to get it every month with no newsstand hassle, which makes me feel great. It
means some guaranteed sales — very reassuring to my bank manager —
and it gives me positive feedback, so I know I must be doing something right.
Yeah, subscriptions are great.
However.
There is the Post Office to contend with. Specifically, there is The Post Office
Act with its section on second class mail. Now, second class mail is a wonderful
thing. It's just as fast as first class and a whole hell of a lot cheaper —
just the thing for a publisher with subscribers to please and, in fact, that's
what it was designed for. Here's what The Act says on the subject:
"In order to be registered as second class mail a newspaper or periodical
must be published for the purpose of disseminating to the public any one or more
of the following:
(i) news
(ii) articles of comment on or analysis of the news, and
(iii) articles with respect to other topics currently of interest to the general
public."
Now that, especially the third section sounds like a perfect description of ELITE
and sistermag RUSTLER, so, as a matter of course and expecting no hassle, we applied
for second class mailing privileges.
We were turned down. Mail Classification Manager H.F. Johnson wrote, "..."Elite"
is not published for the purpose of disseminating articles with respect to topics
currently of interest to the general public but rather to titilate and excite
the public's sexual senses."
Dig that logic: we don't publish to "interest", we publish to "excite."
Tell me, somebody please, how you can "excite" people without them first
being "interested"? And, if people aren't interested in sex, then where
are all these babies coming from?
More important than Mr. Johnson's logical lapses is the fact that Playboy has
second class status. Now Playboy publishes a fair amount of material that isn't
sexual at all, but they also publish a fair amount that is. $o what's the difference
between us and them? Howcum they rate and we don't? Could it be because we're
Canadian, published by and for Canadians, in Canada? Is it possible Mr. Johnson
is just the least little bit afraid to lay his numbers on the powerful American
giant, but feels perfectly free to walk all over his helpless, little countrymen?
Will we get the 70% reduction in rates that will drop our mailing costs from the
current 50Q a copy to the 94 enjoyed by the American mag? Wouldn't it be nice
if we did? Maybe we could pass some of our savings on to you.
I have hopes. I also have a little voice inside me that keeps saying, "Shmuck!
You know the Canadian government would sooner sell the country to the Iranians
than listen to reason on any subject! You know it!"
Sometimes I think that little voice is right and that's what makes me mad.
