06 WHAT GIRLS SAY VS WHAT THEY MEAN
Decode Her Secret Messages
08 YODELIN'IN THE CANYON
What Every Man Should Know About Cunnilingus
10 FRESH BLOOD
10 Hottest Vixens from the New Wave of Horror
16 WHAT NOT TO DO AT A BACHELOR PARTY
A Few Ground Rules
20 COSTUME DRAMA
A French Maid and A Pirate Wench Get It On
22 LAUREN FALLS
TEXAS GIRLS DO IT BETTER
28 THE RISE AND FALL OF A COLLEGE DRUG LOtD
From Nickel Bags to Lawyer's Fees
32 SNEAKING A PEEK
What Girls Find Hot About Other Girls
FROM THE EDITOR
We get lots of letters and emails from people who want to work for Girls Gone
Wild magazine. I guess we make this gig look easy, because the assumption apparent
in most of these solicitations for employment is that there are no requirements
for working here beyond a simple desire to be around naked girls. And perhaps
a certain capacity for drinking on the job. This is not true. For one thing, there
aren't many naked girls around the office.
Most of the girls who appear in our pages are photographed aboard the Girls Gone
Wild bus, in hotel or dorm rooms, or in their homes. They rarely make it into
the office, despite the fact that editorial assistant Joe tries to bait the trap
with promises of free chocolate and foot massages. The only nudity around here
comes from the girls on the staff. Whitney found a way to crank her office window
open, hike her skirt up and rest her long legs on the sill, where she tans them
all afternoon until they reach the color of KFC drumsticks. It lends a decidedly
unprofessional look to our office from the streets below, and the constant approving
honks Whitney gets from passing motorists drives our creative director Ron batshit.
Senior designer Joy parades around in T-shirts so small they barely qualify as
clothing, while photo editor Lauren Simon seems to have a closet of nothing but
thin tanktops and jean skirts. Someone buy the poor girl a bra. On second thought,
don't. She's got nipples like frozen gumdrops.
As far as drinking on the job goes, the official policy is absolutely no alcohol
consumption before lunch. It's just past noon as I write this, and hardly anyone
has had a drink yet. I don't count our new designer Shane; he's been taking pulls
all morning from a thermos he swears contains nothing stronger than ice tea, but
I notice he's napping under his desk already, snoring loudly, his forehead decorated
with felt tip graffiti that reads "Place scrotum here" Shane is on a
serious downward spiral and it will be fascinating to see where he finally bottoms
out.
I was trying to make a point here, but I can't remember what that point ... oh,
wait. I was trying to tell you that we run a professional outfit here. I am proud
of the dedicated craftspeople that put this magazine together each month. There
is talent to burn among this staff, even if most of that talent actually does
end up getting burned. I invite you to take some extra time this month to actually
scrutinize the magazine. There are some nice pictures to look at of course but
there are some pretty decent words too, courtesy of some of today's brightest
young writers. We're doing our best to burn them out before they discover how
much money they can make elsewhere, so if you enjoy "What Not to Do at a
Bachelor Party" (page 16), "Yodelin' in the Canyon" (page 8) or
"Sneaking a Peek" (page 32) let me know; a well-place word of praise
is worth substantially more to these contributors than I can pay them in cash.
Or beer. And if you're looking for a job, feel free to drop us a line. But be
warned: Working with a hangover in an office of hot young women is a not as easy
as it looks. It really isn't.
-LZ
