3 PLUMP PINK PARADISE
An open letter to Monica Lewinsky!
6 FAT CITY 07652
Letters to PLUMP & PINK!
10 MELANIE ROSE
Did somebody say tits?!?
20 FOR MEN WHO LOVE BIG WOMEN
Orgasmic advice from Rina, Queen of Kink!
22 AMATEUR PLUMPERS
The (fat) girl next door!
25 FAT OF THE WEB
Obese babes!
26 SUNDAY IN THE PARK
With Kelly and Dee Zire!
38 BIG GIRL WORLD
Attention all big senoritas interested in posing for a men's magazine!
44 Monica
Cum stain this one!
56 PORN IN EAST L.A.
Big fuckin' tamales!
58 MEASURING UP
Starring Sugar!
68 AND THE WAITRESSES ARE FAT AND HORNY
Is this any way to run a restaurant?
72 SILKY
And wet, too!
92 QUOTH MS. RAVEN
"Gimme more!"
EDITORIAL NOTE
PLUMP PINK PARADISE
An Open Letter To Monica Lewinsky
Dear Monica,
Yes, we know that a publisher has offered you $10,000,000 to write a book about
sucking the President. We're very happy for you. We think you deserve it, considering
all you've been through. But we also think you should be aware that after taxes
and lawyers' fees, you're going to be left with about $50. What you need to do,
before it's too late, is to think about a real career—one in which you're
well compensated for your time, you get to sleep late, and you work only a couple
of hours a day. In other words, just the sort of job you've always wanted.
Yes, Monica, we're suggesting that now, while you're still young and plump and
delicious, and at the peak of your ever so transitory fame, you should seriously
consider a career as a nude model— and make your debut here, in PLUMP &
PINK.
Frankly, my dear, we think you owe it to us. The problem, you see, is that nobody's
buying porno magazines anymore. Why do you think P&P's publication schedule
was cut to two times per year? Yeah, we know, it's the Internet, it's videos,
blah blah blah. We hear it every day. But the internet and videos are nothing
new. What is new is that you can't turn on your TV anymore without hearing about
blowjobs, phone sex, cum-stained cocktail dresses, cigars being used as dildos,
Oval Office anilingus, and speculation that "The Big He" jerked off
all over your tits. (Is this an impeachable offense?) I mean, really, Mon, who
needs to spend $6.99 on a porn mag when they can watch the evening news and get
it for free? And whose fault is this? Yes, it's yours.
We're asking you, Monica, to do your part to revitalize the slumping porno economy.
I know, in your heart, you're a decent young woman and you'd want to do everything
you can to help us. That's why I'm offering you $3,000 (cash, in small, unmarked
bills) to pose for PLUMP & PINK. It can be the scenario of your choice, in
the city of your choice, with the photographer of your choice. (This is not a
choice we've ever offered to any other model.) And if it goes without saying that
if you choose to do a boy/girl scenario, (with the hung stud of your choice) it's
going to make The Big He really, really jealous. We're offering you this opportunity,
Monica, not to exploit you because you're famous (like Vanity Fair did), but because
we think you are the perfect P&P model.
Yes, you'll have to show us what the inside of your pussy looks like, but that's
not such a big deal. All the girls do it these days. But you don't have to actually
suck cock in front of the camera. (If you choose to do boy/girl, it's only simulated
sex.) Think how hot The Big He's going to get when he sees your wet and hairy
quim splayed to the world in the pages of this magazine. (You want to see cum
stains, we'll show you cum stains.)
We know what you're thinking, Mon. P&P is not exactly Vanity Fair. You're
worried that if you pose for us, you're never going to get a cushy job in a big
corporation like Revlon. But the truth is, you were never going to get a cushy
job in a big corporation, anyway. Face it, as far as the job market goes, you
haven't got a prayer. You're a spoiled Beverly Hills bitch with a big mouth and
no administrative skills whatsoever. So do yourself a favor. Forget about the
corporate world. Join an industry where you can make really good money, and where
your blowjob skills will truly be appreciated. As everybody knows, the inevitable
second act to a nude modeling career is performing in hardcore porno videos. And
you already are a porn star, just one who hasn't sucked dick publicly (though
the Oval Office isn't exactly private). Jesus, we'd pay to see a sexy chubbette
like you do DP and take a wad on the face. And we never pay for porno. So, what
do you say, Monica, baby, sweetheart? Call us today. We'll have you in front of
a camera tomorrow, and $3000 cash in your hot little hands. Yeah, Mon, we think
your pudgy naked body will sell a few magazines.
Love and XXX,
The Editors
