WHERE IT'S AT 4 Mayfair Male
If all the letters you write to us every month were placed end to end, they'd
stretch all the way from one end of the Deputy Ed's desk to the other end several
times. And they do!
14 Her Serene Highness
With a name like Serenity, you'd expect this girl to be a shy, retiring type with
an interest in embroidery. Whereas she's actually a horny, cock-sucking, quim-licking
sex vixen.
22 Melinda Messenger
We spent ages figuring out what to write here, trying shite puns like 'Message
In A Botty!', 'Who Shot The Messenger?' etc. but it was pointless — who'd
bother reading it?
32 New Balls, Please!
Another glorious season of sport is upon us: test matches, a Lions tour, grand
prix, the Open and lots of fit babes from across the globe prancing around in
frilly knickers!
42 Scene From Mayfair
All of hUmma-porn-star">Uman life is here - apart from the depressing things, of course. This
month's roll-call includes summer sounds, kinky films and the furry pink handcuffs
you demand to see oh so regularly. Check it out!
54 Extreme Sports
What do you need to go surfing in the sky? A plane, an aerodynamic board, a massive
drop, platinum balls and good insurance. Oh shit, we forgot the parachute. Doh!
56 Object Of Desire
Geetar men from time immemorial (well, since the 'fifties to be precise) are agreed
on two things — the Fender Stratocaster is the best instrument in the world
and never agree to share a tour bus with Keith Richards.
64 Famous Fuckers
Kinky? You don't know the meaning of the word! You could (and probably should)
get locked up if you tried some of the sexual exploits of these well-known fornicators.
By my troth, 'tis a report most stimulational!
70 Quest
There's more to office life than bickering over whose turn it is to make the coffee
and nicking a few paper clips — unless you work at Raymond Towers. There's
shagging and all, and here the typing pool girls reveal all!
98 Next Month
If next month's issue is half as good as this month's — we'll probably get
the sack. So we'll make it just a little bit better instead, or die in the attempt.
All because we love you! PICTORIALS
5 SUZY
15 NIKKI
26 FARRAH
35 CIARAN & SIOBAHN
47 POSTER POSER!
MONIKA
57 DENISE
65 Claire Cass
74 SOAP STAR EXCLUSIVE!
JANIE JENNER
MAYFAIR MAGIC!
In the World before Mayfair, primal chaos reigned and the heavens sought order.
But the phoenix can fly only when its feathers ore grown. Time and pure essences
of heaven, the moisture of the earth, the powers of the sun and moon, all worked
on a certain publication and it became magicaly fertile. That first egg was called
porn. Elemental forces caused the egg to hatch. From it came a top-quality mag.
The nature of Mayfair was... irrepressible! [Apologies to the crap 80s Chinese
TV series 'Monkey']
