7 BITS & BITES
Crazy, Zany & Bizarre
11 RESTRICTED REVIEWS
27 SEX GUIDE
What Sensual Women Want Most by Donna Hale
23 SICK LETTER FROM SANTA Monica
30 INTERVIEW: Jody Maxwell
The Singing Stick-Licker by R, Allen Leider
35 FLASHBACK
39 DARLA
A Sensualist Supreme
44 CHERRIES JUBILEE
"Do Unto Me" by Marcia St. Clair
47 RIDING BAREBACK
Take Her For a Ride
54 WIFE SWAPPING IN THE '80s
by Alec Widdener
57 NICE GIRLS IN TROUBLE
72 HONEY'S ALWAYS HORNY!
Scratch Her Itch
83 EROTIC ENCOUNTERS
Revenge For Rape by Mandy M.
88 HOW THE WEST WAS WON
91 PHOEBE
A Girl of Mystery, Full of Secret Desires
PUBLISHER'S STATEMENT
Another Goddam Rule
Any day now, if it hasn't happened already, beer commercials in Ontario are going
to get a lot duller. No more elegant, breathtaking sequences of hang gliders soaring
like hawks, dune buggies leaping through space, or hot dog skiers somersaulting
in midair.
The word has come down from the Almighty Liquor Licence Board that showing activities
requiring "a high degree of skill" constitutes a threat to life and
limb. "Imitation by the unskilled or underage viewer could be considered
dangerous," says the Board.
Bullshit! say I. First, people have been treated to exciting displays of skill
since time began. Most of them remain content to watch and admire. Have you ever
seen a tightrope walker work without a net? Haveyou ever tried to walk a tightrope?
Even with a net?
Second, people are not stupid. Everybody who now engages in any activity requiring
"a high degree of skill" once had no skill at all. He or she learned.
He or she looked and admired and then set out to do the step-by-step training
that would allow them to do whatever had excited them. Yes, there are some people
stupid enough to think there's no skill involved, stupid enough to take the high
jump their first time on skis. Sometimes they get lucky; sometimes they break
a leg; sometimes they die. We'll come back to them in a minute.
The Liquor Licence Board is not responsible for the actions of television viewers.
Neither are the beer companies. If you are inspired enough by the Labatt's balloon
to take up ballooning, that's your decision. Not theirs. Yours.
But displays of skill in any field, from sports to art, are inspiring. They remind
us that man is more than just an eating, sleeping, shitting lump, that he can
strive for and achieve greatness.
And that's dangerous. Striving can kill you. Literally. And you can end up just
as dead whether you're striving with all the skill in the world, or on a stupid,
stumbling whim.
Which is too bad. Hard on the family. But remember, stupid or skilled, the dead
are volunteers. And the living, when they succeed, bring to their lives and ours
a quality that is well worth the risk.
If you think I'm cold and heartless, imagine the alternative: no displays of skill,
in beer commercials or anywhere else. In a generation or two, that could mean
no more skills. N'o more taking chances for the sheer joy of achievement. Mediocrity
rules.
Personally, I'd rather lose a few idiots here and there than lose the whole hUmma-porn-star">Uman
race's potential for striving and achievement . . . for excellence.
