5 COMMENTARY Letters of marque. 7 CHATTER Strange fruit. 8 JERKING OFF A voyeurs diary. 10 CHUCK & DICK Carnival knowledge. 15 DIRK HOFFMAN Gang punk strips. 20 CURTAIN CALL Going down on stage. 28 JIZZ WIZARDS Just when you thought it was safe. 35 SCOTT STONE Straight from the street! 39 ROBERT KENNEDY A registered roter! 46 ROD GARETTO Living up to his name! 52 MALEBOX Mail order meat! 67 DOMENIQUE CREOLE Jumbo gumbo! 70 COVER SPECIAL Allan Morgen 72 FRUIT INSPECTOR Swallowing the evidence! 80 VIDEOBOX Fantasies Of Brazil from Vidco!
EDITORIAL NOTE
I get a lot of mail. I haven't any real big beefs about that' most of the time
I really enjoy getting clean, fresh stacks of letters from all over the world,
addressed to me. Who wouldn't, right? And it's a kick when they make it through
the mailroom, past the receptionist and arrive on my desk unopened. I really don't
know what they're looking for. I certainly don't ask.
Usually, I can tell quiet a bit about what's inside a letter just from the envelope.
Fat ones, with carefully typed addresses are usually from writers. Sometimes there's
a story inside and once in a while it's even good. Whichever the case I read all
of them, even if they're written in purple crayon. You never know where you'll
find genius.
BusInesses almost always have their names printed on the outside, which tends
to take a lot of the fun out the whole thing. And then there are the ones with
"Personal" and "Confidential" stamped all over them, scented
and addressed, almost always, to someone else. Models, usually, and as much as
I'd love to open 'em, I don't. They get forwarded promptly.
Things are not always so predictable, however. Imagine my surprise just last week,
after opening an innocent looking parcel and having a step-by-step manual on foreskin
restoration plop onto my lap. Amaze your friends' it read. Absolutely. Not to
be outdone was the young man from Brazil who sent me his (obviously) favorite
pair of Jockey shorts. Quite a treat. And almost every day I get a handful of
various j.o. shots from readers. (These are particular favorites of the office
staff.)
But of course, without fail, there will be that one hot-headed letter or some
ill-conceived press release that really pisses me off. Like the guy who'd decided
that AIDS was all in the imagination. He'd actually spent bucks on a pamphlet
and postage to tell me, and probably thousands of other unsuspecting mail openers,
to ignore the warnings of every competent health official in the world. What a
schmuck. And then there are a few select bastions of taste out there who regularly
complain about everything. Either the models are too young, or too tall, or the
stories are too short or have too many big words. Hey, I'm all for constructive
criticism, but sometimes I'd just like to tell 'em to get a grip. I mean, if you
don't like sand, don't go to the fucking beach.
But my all time, double-dog favorites are letters from you, letting me know how
hot you are for one of our young, super-hung models and how you can't wait until
the next issue comes out. I save all those, in a special drawer, and if you read
the CHATTER page, you'll see that I print the juiciest few. I'm really looking
forward to hearing what you, Mr. Joe Bob Reader, have to say about this issue
of STARS. When we began planning it, Mr. K. popped in and said, "Make it
good. Make it real goodl" So we did. It's the all new and improved STARS,
submitted for your perusal. If you like it, write and let me know. I'd really
like to score some points. On the outside chance that you don't, go ahead and
write anyway. I car, always use the stamps for my collection.
Bon Appétit!
