FEATURES
64 This Will Hurt a Bit
The most extreme types of pain in the universe, from purple nurples to PBS: Our
complete guide to agony will leave you in ecstasy.
70 Test Your Sex IQ
Sharpen your favorite pencil, grab a nearby member of the opposite sex and take
our sex quiz. It's the one time she'll beg you to cheat.
80 Stuff Goes to War
Imagine a world without war: We wouldn't have booming industries, interstate highways,
cool gadgets, awesome movies or SPAM. Stuff takes up arms against the doves.
88 Fast Times with Kimberly
The latest daredevil stunt from Kimberly Pressler, host of MTV's Senseless Acts
of Video: sitting down to answer Stuff's questions.
92 No, Fido! Noooooooo!
They're in your home, and they're a! the end of their leashes. Read the shocking
stories of cute animals gone bad—very bad.
98 Bungle in the Jungle
Our intrepid reporter heads into the heart of darkness to hunt down Sheena, Queen
of the Jungle...arid discovers that it's all just a TV shoes. We blow the lid
off this scam. We're thinking Pulitzer, minimum.
104 "I Drank My Own Piss!"
A hiker gets trapped in a canyon for eight days with almost no water— and
you get to read about it from the comfort of your Barcalounger!
DEPARTMENTS
14 letters
Once more, you help us fill pages
16 True Lies
"Uncle Fred was doing his weird ett trick when he sneezed..."
18 Blitz!
Marauding Chinese ducks, Tawny Kitaen, Andy Dick with a Hummer. Pinky the pig
and other celebrities not featured in Modern Ferret.
36 Hype!
Marilyn Manson, the world's nastiest band and cannibal cuisire. lovingly garnished
with reviews a' new CDs, movies and games.
52 Great American Hero: Super Dave Osborne
In praise of the daredevil who maw Evil Knievel look sane.
54 The Powder Room
Five girls named Shirley Chickenpants discuss bedroom bloopers. (It'll make sense
later.)
136 Smart Bombs
Learn how to pull a sick day, talk like a Scientologist and spot hermaphrodites.
Who loves ya?
141 Where to Buy
One way to fill the void in your life
148 Our Valentine's Gift to You
INSTANT COOL
112 Fashion Flash
Shoes, hats and holsters galore.
116 Fine China
Hot models in dim sum duds.
124 Nooligan Couture
Vinnie Jones gets jiggy.
130 Cold Stuff
Extreme winter gear that will give you the chills.
131 Headphones
Sound so good, it's like hearing it live. Except it's not.
132 Booze
Irish whiskey for the soul.
133 Fast Stuff
Speedy boards, skis and more.
134 Bikes: Aprilia Falco
A tasty Italian import.
