FEATURES
72 TEXAS CHAINSAW BEAUTY Diora Baird made children giggle as a professional birthday clown, and now she's
making grown men cry as the star of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning.
Prepare to have your pants scared off.
78 NBA TIP-OFF
Horrible tattoos! Embarassing arrests! Psychotic dunkers! Crazy postgame parties!
Everything you need to know about the new season of a little-known recreational
sport we call "basketball."
84 THE SCREAM QUEENS
Nothing says quality horror flick like a buxom, shrieking beauty. Check our
pics for the hottest post - Jamie Lee Curtis ladies of gore.
90 THE SCARIEST MOVIE EVER MADE
The results of our exhaustive Hollywood poll -everyone from Umma-porn-star">Uma-thurman-porn-star">Umma-porn-star">Uma Thurman to Conan
O'Brien to Steve Carell- to determine the most nightmare-inducing flick ever
shown in a darkened room. Break out the Depends, folks.
96 WENTWORTH MILLER
Our Favorite fugitive rats out his writers and spills the beans on the new season
of Prison Break.
98 FOUR-WHEEL FREAK-OUT
The sickest rides of the year! Plus: Crazy-ass concept cars and a peek inside
NFL star Ahman Green's trunk!
REGULARS 16 HIT LIST Christina Aguilera gets candid with our camera. Mythbusters fashion: All you
need is ample facial hair, some explosives and a dream. Lose weight while sitting
on your ass - seriously. Fun with magnets: A bed that hovers!
26 QUIZMASTER
Notable presidential pardons, Donkey Kong etymology and a potential Wal-Mart
shoplifting deterrent? The Quizmaster is really heating up.
30 HYPE Nadine Velazquez sits in for our Casting Call and divulges the secrets behind
My Name Is Earl. Jackass: The Movie director Jeff Tremaine gives us a frame-by-frame
analysis of his glorious gross-out fest. Mix king DJ Shadow lays down his top
media picks.
40 THE PRIDE OF KAZAKHSTAN
We have several good reasons why you should see Borat's new movie - the first
of which is the glorious mustache.
48 NEIGHBORHOOD KNOCKOUT
She's a jock of all trades.
52 SPEND
Nab enviable vintage movie posters. New Balance tips awesome scales. Experience
the joys of promptness with these killer new watches.
58 BIAS
For Eli Roth, creator of Hostel and Hostel 2, obligatory press boondoggles are
both a blessing and a curse.
60 GEAROTICA
Bow before the F131 Hellcat, the motorcycle even Hurricane Katrina could not
beat. See how the biggest mover and shaker at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino
gets it done. Method Man and NHL star Joe Thornton show off a few of their favorite
things. Shaving while driving a Porsche might be dangerous, but how else were
we supposed to test these electric razors?
104 STYLE
Get grim with some blood-suckingly sweet fashion. Suit up in this fly b-ball
gear. Don't tread on me! But check out these badass boots.
112 WEEKEND WARRIOR
MotoGP star Nicky Hayden talks you through a death-defying victory lap. The
windsurfing contest that will blow you away
118 CREDITS
120 STUFF STATS
See how our finest readers answered this month's survey. You people are not
normal.
