6 Brandy
We could stop here!
14 Letters
Shakespeares of smut!
16 Rumika & Lee
Oral fixations, deep penetration
26 Vegas Stripper Stampede
You can't go wrong with a title like that!
29 Devon
Rhymes with "heaven!"
36 Tales of The Unexplained
Can't help the cops if you're dead
39 Cameron
This leggy blonde is built to please!
46 Houston
Porn chick reviews porn flick!
48 Bunny & Alexa
In a word: fucking perfect!
60 On The Set
So hot, it's taboo!
63 Evelyn
Pierced, pumped, and ready!
70 Quickies
Ridiculous, but true, stories!
73 Tyler & Jason
Hotter than the desert!
80 Pool Sharks
Don't be hassled by the hustlers!
83 Suzy
Wet and lovely!
93 Monica
Seven pages of naked glory!
101 Funny Boners
Nothing to do with penis deformities!
103 Elena
Sweeter than Sugar pie!
112 XXX Review
I watched every filthy frame—twice!
119 Silver
Hi-yo and away!
187 Gabi, Dani & Bella
These are a few of my favorite things!
Editorial Note
Next time you're out, try this—every time someone does something nutty or
even remotely funny, say, "Man, this is nothing like Indiana!" in your
best Midwestern accent. If someone asks if you're indeed from Indiana, act indignant
and follow up with a quick, "No I'm from (your state here), what the fuck
is your problem?" You were merely stating that, in fact, this scene is nothing
like Indiana. Of course, if you're really from Indiana, skip the indignant part,
and make a new friend, you uppity bastard. And if you're in Indiana, use "Ohio,"
or "Iowa." As always, all bets are off once you're west of the Rockies,
so nothing here applies to our West Coast friends.
Now don't get us wrong, if one of the girls of Swank were to ask if you're from
Indiana, you play it however you see fit. We suggest a kinder, gentler approach.
Think about it—what if you met Evelyn, Devon, Rumika, Jenna, or Brandy in
a crowded room? Could you really ask them what their "fucking problem"
was? How about Gabi, Dani, Bella, or Silver? Should they be denied the pleasure
of your fantastic, witty repartee? And who could ever say a discouraging word
to Bunny, Alexa, Cameron, Monica, or Suzy/? So, use your head—the upper
one, Jack!
Speaking of using one's head, outwitting the long arm of the law has always been
tough, if not impossible. But for some reason, the dead have had no problem keeping
the cops guessing! Check out an unbelievable line-up of strange shit in Unexplained's
"Stumping the Cops!"
Stranger than that—why you can't beat that fucking guy in pool? Yeah, compared
to death it seems trivial, but dammit, you know you should've won that last game!
Can someone say "Pool Shark"? Well, we just said it for you, and we'll
give you the ways to tell if you're being hustled whilst shooting stick!
Then, Swank takes you to the ultimate event—the Annual Gentleman's Club
Owner's Expo in Las Vegas! Translated: Sin City Stripper Convention! There's more
skin and sex than you can imagine, and we know you can imagine a lot! Don't miss
it!
All this plus, On The Set of Taboo, Letters, Quickies, our XXX Reviews and more!
—The Editors
