6 Jane
Me like Jane. Jane pretty.
14 Letters
The written, smutty word!
16 Rumika & Lee
A slit safari!
26 AVN EXPO 2001
Your guide to the ultimate Las Vegas gash bash!
29 Michelle
100% eye candy!
36 Ratfink
Hot chicks and kustom kars!
40 Kelle
Two fingers are better than one!
50 How to: Orgasms
On your knees, boy!
54 Jade & Gauge
All dressed up and no one to blov
66 The Unexplained
You want flies with that?
69 Judy
Taker her peach pie!
80 Bella & Suzy
Pool poon party!
88 Quickies
Small story; big stupidity!
90 Pearl
Playin' with her clam!
100 Houston
The queen reviews her subjects!
102 Swank's Pranks
Boff me if you heard this one...
103 Barbara
Nice view!
110 XXX Reviews
Better butter your own popcorn!
119 Tammy Faye
Guess what she wants!
120 Readers' Poll
Be part of SWANK history!
187 Sandy & Vanesa
Two twats—no waiting!
Editorial Note
Are we alone in the universe? No way. What makes Earth so special? Resealable
plastic bags? Motorized scooters? Our knowledge of useless sports trivia? What
is our greatest gift? I know what it is. I've got it. And I'll tell you. But first
a list of demands: I want a jet, two tickets to Maui, and a sack—not a fucking
bag—of fresh carrots (it's good eye food, and to be honest, my left one's
gettin' a little blurry!). And $750 billion. With that out of the way, I present
to you our planet's greatest gift—chicks! Makes sense, doesn't it? So when
the aliens come down and ask you to take them to your leader, (and you know they're
coming!) hand them a copy of Swank and get ready for some interplanetary love!
You know Tammy Faye, Pearl, Barbara, Bella and Suzy would keep the spaceship a-rockin' if they came a-knockin'! Same with Kelle, Michelle, Jade and Gauge! And if you think Rumika, Tyler, Judy, Sandy and Vanesa, wouldn't make their planet proud, you must be bugging out!
If you didn't catch that fantastic segue, this month we explore a totally different culinary menu—bug eating! What's the insect du jour? Just wait! Cricket Cookies and Mealworm Surprise are only some of the delightful recipes you'll encounter when you read "Chewy and Crunchy!" in Unexplained. Remember, nothing beats a burger and flies!
Then, a lot cooler and way easier on the stomach—Swank goes to the Annual
Ratfink Reunion. Amazing cars, cool cats, and crazy chicks are all part of SoCal's wild tribute to the inventor of Kustom Kulture, Ed "Big Daddy" Roth! Be there or be square, daddy-o!
And if that weren't enough, we'll help you out with some guaranteed methods to give your girl the best orgasm of her life! Trust us, if you've convinced her to eat bugs for dinner and spend all day at a car show, there's gonna be some major league compensation in order! So get your tongue and jaw ready, 'cause you gotta go down to make her say,"'O' Yes!"
All this plus our exclusive AVN coverage, letters, side-splitting Jokes, Quickies and unreal XXX Reviews!
—The Editors
