6 Silver
In this case, better than gold!
14 Letters
You fuck. You write. We read.
18 Olinka & Jason
She samples a new flavor!
28 Girlfriends
Never trust a dame!
31 Swan
All natural grace and smut!
44 Tales Of The Unexplained
Things that should not be!
48 Pearl & Terri
They shuck each other's clams!
62 On-The-Set: Mirage
A wet, pink spot in the desert!
67 Sunny
Somebody get me a ring!
76 Quickies
You can't make this shit up!
79 Lisa & John
A match made in lust!
88 Stuff
Booty you should have!
90 Phoenix
This chick's on fire!
101 Swank's Pranks
Caution: May laugh dick off!
102 Jayne
Never met a dildo she didn't like!
110 Bunny Ranch
Nevada, here we cum!
113 Lily
Play with her little pink flower!
120 XXX Review
The fine art of smut cinema!
124 Sindy
Get on your knees and repent!
132 Houston
Giving you the blowdown!
185 Monica
What a way to go out!
Editorial Note
There's no point in second guessing yourself. Maybe I shouldn't have fucked that
girl in the ass in that hotel bathroom at my friends' wedding. But I did. So what,
right? It was worth it. Maybe I shouldn't have taken that $20 bet to eat all that
nuclear-hot salsa. I only had to breathe in a freezer for nine minutes to calm
down. Big deal. It was fun. See? You can't get down on yourself for the small
things. You can't even go crazy with the big things either. I bought the wrong
car, the wrong house, and the wrong mail order bride. Fuck it.
At least you can never second guess yourself when it comes to buying an issue
of Swank, and you already know why! Silver, Swan, and Jayne will automatically
make you feel good about your day's new purchase. Sindy, Lisa, Pearl and Terri
are clearly going to be fantastic additions to your overall well-being. And do
we even have to mention that Olinka, Sunny, Phoenix, Lily, and Monica are the
foundations of a healthy mental state? These perfect girls are here for you, whenever
you need them!
Of course, there's one thing you should be worried about—especially if you
find yourself deep in unfamiliar territory! This month we scour the earth for
the creepiest of critters, the biggest of the beasts, the...you get it. Animals
thought to be extinct for millions of years turn up in an African jungle! Snakes
so big, they could take down a helicopter! It's all in Tales of the Unexplained's
"Giant Creatures!"
Then, and this is truly awful, sometimes your little fingerbank, the of ball and
chain, the missus, etc. likes to go off and get a little somethin' on the side.
Ah, you probably do,too, dipshit, so drop the act. But, there are ways to catch
her, and her you! Find out the latest and greatest ways to detect "Her Cheatin'
Heart!" Hey, if all else fails, take a trip to the happiest place on the
planet. No, not my pants, that's for the ladies. Nevada's legal prostitution palace—The
Moonlite Bunnyranch! Experience the sights, the sounds, the inner workings of
one of the world's most famous cathouses! Me-ow!
All this, plus rant and rave with porn's reigning queen, Houston, go On The Set
of Wicked's Mirage, and try and keep up with our Jokes, Letters, Quickies, Stuff,
and XXX Reviews!
—The Editors
