6 Katie
What a perfect opening, er, opener!
14 Letters
You've got tail!
18 Alexis & Dillon
Taking a dip in her deep end!
26 Badmuthafuckas: Three Hots And A Cot
The nastiest prisons in the world!
30 Cherry Rain
You live in a barn? Close those legs!
38 Tales of the Unexplained: Damned Things
Cursed collectibles!
41 Monica & Bobbi
Two girls, unlimited smut!
50 How-To: Mail Order Bride
The postage is definitely worth it!
52 Daisy
Her cookie's fresher than a...daisy!
60 Senor Swanky
See something cool?
62 Stuff
Products for consumers, hooray!
65 Jodie
This is no way to wash a car!
78 Teen Of The Month: Lucy
What's better than teen trim?
86 Quickies
Reports of the uniquely stupid!
90 Centerfold
This is where it gets fun!
100 Horny Devils
Our resident side-splitters!
103 Tabitha & Jace
In the snatch or down the hatch?
110 Sin Twins
Sexy sisters solve your conundrums!
114 Christie
One blonde who ain't afraid to show the pink!
118 Jizz Bizz
Welcome to the porn party!
122 Flixxx
Video vixens and DVDeflowerings!
186 Ashley & Chantelle-fontain-porn-star">Rebecca
Pussy: The breakfast of champions!
Editorial Note
Somtimes I have to pat myself on the back and congraTulate myself on being so
brilliant. Then, I forget what it is that makes me so fucking smart, and I feel
like a jackass. For example, I had the best editor's page in my head for the entire
weekend. I sat there and thought, "Well played, old man, well played—another
great one!" But here we are, Monday fucking morning, and I've got nothing.
All traces of the ultimate 100 words you'd ever read in your life disappeared
as if they'd never existed. Better let the ladies do the talking...
I mean, you'd listen to Jodie, Monica, and Katie, right? How about Christie, Lucy,
Cherry, Ashley and Chantelle-fontain-porn-star">Rebecca? Of course you would. And what's the good word from
Daisy, Tabitha, Alexis, and Zoe? Well, the word is legs. Let's spread the word.
Okay, to compensate for that crappy joke, I submit to you this month's Tales of
the Unexplained! What is it about certain objects that make them collectible?
Is it the idea that one day they may be worth mucho dinero? Is it sentimental?
Or, is it that they're totally cursed? Check out "Damned Things" and
judge for yourself! They may not go up in value, but they sure will scare the
shit out of you!
Speaking of scary, you might think snapping a few photos all over the world is
harmless work—easy stuff, right? Wrong-o! Soak in Barry Brooks' "Beyond
Manila" and prepare to soak your trousers! There's no reason why a snap shot
should get you shot at—or is there?
Luckily our fearless photographer didn't end up in prison for his photos. If he
did, he would have been quite familiar with Bad Muthafuckas "Three Hots And
A Cot—In Hell!" The baddest lock-ups in the world! Places that make
low-level cons say, "Shit!" Places you don't want to be—ever!
Places, that...aah, you get it.
All this, plus How To Grab a Mail Order Bride, advice from the Sin Twins, the
latest Flixxx, the most outrageous Quickies, more Stuff, hip tips from Senor Swanky,
what's going down in the Jizz Bizz, funny shit from the Horny Devil, and much,
much more! Unrelated piece of advice: he who laughs the loudest is probably a
douchebag.
—The Editors
