Celebrity Sleuth # 59, Hard Rock 5 Magazine

ISSN

1083-2505

TABLE OF CONTENTS

POP TARTS
4 Just Dance
Lady Gaga
8 I Kissed a Girl
Katy Perry
12 Pussycat Doll
Nicole Scherzinger
16 Blue-Eyed Sole
JOSS STONE
20 'Shania Tween'
Taylor Swift
SINGIN' THE BLUES
24 Always a 'Circus'
Britney Spears
28 The Brit Britney
LILY ALLEN
32 Jailhouse Crock?
Alicia Keys
36 Terror Bod
REMY MA
SISTERS ARE DOIN' IT
40 Wherefore Art Thou, Romo?
Jessica Simpson
44 From Wentz, She Came!
Ashlee Simpson
48 Put a Pastie on It
Beyonce-knowles-porn-star">Beyonce
52 Destiny's Sis
SOLANGE
SPLITSâ€¢VILLE
56 You're Not Still the One!
Shania Twain
60 Just Wild About Harry?
NATALIE IMBRUGLIA
64 Not So 'Civil'
AMY WINEHOUSE
68 Gettin' Nasty
KELIS
LEAKS & PEAKS
72 Ruff Rydin'
EVE
76 Showin' Her Stripes
MEG WHITE
80 S.O.S.
Rihanna
84 Ventura's Highway
CASSIE
88 Goin' Solo
Fergie
93 Back Issue Specials
94 Nudesâ€¢Nâ€¢Notes
98 Web Site Discount Offer

EDITORIAL NOTE
The Sleuthsayer
"By powerful coincidence," noted one recent retrospective, "Rock 'n' Roll saw the light of day at approximately the same time as the first TV sets were arriving in the living rooms of working Americans. Cameras very quickly became part of the package, and all manner of interesting things started to happen."
What's happening NOW is our ELEVENTH issue dedicated "souly" to the Women of Music â€“ a countdown of the "Greatest Hits" {say it fast! } of the past year...and the lungs that sung them!
"When filmmakers joined the Rock 'n' Roll party," the commentary continued, "the obvious connection was made between rock and erotica." Actually, it was obvious to Sleuth from the very beginningâ€”we made the connection in just our third issue, "Women of Rock," published in 1986!
Just months before, in fact, the very first "nude photograph ever transmitted" over the fledgling highway known as the "Internet" was uploaded by a registered user of "Alter-Net" Adults Only Areas on October 4, 1985 ... and it was a singer...an early nude of Madonna. Since then we've featured the Material Girl sans material FIFTEEN different timesâ€”go to www.CelebritySleuth.com to view each of the issues onlineâ€”and her bod remains a fixture on every iPod.
But it's thefirst artist Madonna signed to her Maverick label who offers the best hope for many more "Music" issues to come: "I walk around naked all the time," asserts Mania Morissette. "I'm a leave-the-bathroom-door-open nudist, which is sometimes disconcerting for my friends." Check out "Hard Rock 3," my friends, to see Mania use backstage as her bathroom while disâ€¢concertâ€¢ing everyone!
Which is what four-time Sleuth honoree Christina Aguilera did when she and her hubby got Dimly in their backyard pool: "They don't just splash around," complained an elderly neighbor, "they laugh, scream, swear and make sex noises. We're happy they're happy, but we wish they'd keep it down a bit. There area lot of old people who live around here, and they don't like noise after the dinner hour." Tough titty, since Xtina sang in her Dirrtry ditty: "Let's get open, cause a commotion (ooh oh)/We're still going, eight in the morning/There's no stopping, we keep it popping (oh)/Hot rocking, everyone's talking."
Including former Destiny's Child star and BFF of BeyoncÃ© (p. 48), Kelly Rowland, whose chart toppers "blew up" in October 2007: "I got breast implants to go from an A-cup to a B-cup," Kelly confirmed to People magazine. "I didn't want to have double Ds and be a little bitty size 2â€”that would look nuts! I feel complete," Rowland raves. "It is a decision I made for myself. I like it, and that's all that counts."
And count Kellie Pickles, who finished 6th in '06 on American Idol, among the enhanced: "Oh, my boobs?" she sighs. "I don't care. You know what? If you don't have anything better to talk about than my rack... can I say rack? ... It doesn't bother me a bit. As long as I'm happy with Kellie than that's most important." And she adds: "Your real friends are gonna love you regardless of whether you're a negative A cup or a triple D."
That's DDDebatable...but what isn't are these wise words from an ancient anonymous philosopher who advised: "Abstain from wine, women and song. Mostly song."
Two Out of Three Ain't Bad,
Sleuth

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